The Bible is full of God's encouraging Bible verses to give all of us in the Sandwich Generation, caring for elderly parents and helping with the grandchildren, a "hug" from Him for ourselves and to share with those special seniors and juniors in our lives. Some are especially encouraging during dark moments including those times we may be dealing with such things as severe illness in a family member and the grief that comes from having to help them through that, along with hospice, and finally, with the end stages of their disease.

Last week's comforting Bible verses from Psalm 23, "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want…" is one of those special passages. Today is another of the many comforting Scriptures that have held me steady during my darkest days, including the loss of my sweet husband.

But I trusted in Thee, O LORD:

I said, Thou art my God. My times are in Thy hand.

Psalm 31: 14-15a (KJV)

I have clung to these verses so many times over the years, before and since. I can't explain everything that happens – good or bad. I can't fix everything that happens, no matter how hard my sweet little caregiving heart wants to. But I can tell you that we can trust in our awesome God and KNOW that we can trust in Him and that our times are, indeed, in His capable and loving hands.

As Charles Spurgeon once said, "God’s hand never errs; and if our times are in his hand, those times are ordered rightly. We need not puzzle our brains to understand the dispensations of Providence: a much easier and wiser course is open to us; namely, to believe the hand of the Lord works all things for the best."

In more modern times, David Strasser (also known simply as Beaker) wrote the song, O God, You are my God (Step by Step), which has resonated wonderfully in my heart for years. I love the praise and worship songs sung by Rich Mullins and this is one of my favorites. He originally recorded it and later, through the magic of computers, Bebo Norman was able to re-record it as a duet, after Rich Mullins had also gone to heaven.

When I think of Psalm 31:14, I often also think of this song. I'm not sure if he wrote the words based on this Psalm or another verse, but I love the two together and so many times have played it when I needed strength and encouragement. I have to confess, I often have tears streaming down as I listen, but oh, the joy of surrendering to God and telling Him that I will to follow Him STEP BY STEP, when I know that's all I can handle – that one step at a time. That joy is then replicated by the knowledge that, since my times are in His hands, that's all I need to focus on – that one step at a time!

I pray that you, too, will be comforted and encouraged by this verse and by this praise and worship music from Rich Mullins and Bebo Norman in today's Smilebox eCard - just for you.

As Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 1: 2, "Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ," as you go about your life dealing with the Sandwich Generation issues of caring for the elderly parents in your family along with helping with the grandchildren.

For more encouraging Bible verses and sweet hymn songs, enjoy Spiritual Sunday and I Owe It All To Him :)

P.S. Two Christian devotional books full of encouraging Bible verses and devotions to encourage you are Ninety Days of God's Goodness by Randy Alcorn and When the Hurt Runs Deep by Kay Arthur. These books are wonderful for all of us and can be a special blessing for those dealing with grief and loss issues.

Kaye

Saturday is THE BIG DAY of the month – Valentine’s Day. What are you doing for your special senior citizens who don’t live close to you?

In case caregiving duties have kept you busy and you haven’t had a chance to pick out something special, here are a few ideas you can do from home.

1. Smilebox greeting card – www.Smilebox.com – has some fun new designs that are perfect for Valentine’s Day. I made this one just for you, to say HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to you! You could use this particular card or select one of their other cute Valentines. Add photos of the kids and grandkids, and sent it on its way with your love to a variety of elderly relatives.

Make a Smilebox postcard

2. If you want to add a gift card to your greeting, Amazon has a cute little e-card that can carry your gift of any amount along with your Valentine love. It will arrive in their email box the minute you send it or you can choose a time and date for it to arrive.

3. If music is more your “thing,” Amazon can handle that, as can iTunes. You can send them a song for .99, an album for $5-15, or even a TV show or movie. All from your computer to theirs.

Now the caveat to these is that they require a tech-savvy senior citizen or one who has someone who can help them with these gifts. If your beloved elder doesn’t have that, you’d be better off taking a more old-fashioned route. Pop out to a good book store, pick up a music cd they would enjoy, then hustle over to the post office. There you will find free Express Mail envelopes (which helps make up for the price the package will cost to mail it quickly) and hopefully your gift can get there by Saturday. Most of them are one day, but some require two days.

Another less-tech idea is to call a florist in their town, and order flowers. It won’t be cheap but if you get a cute vase such as a spring teacup, they’ll be able to enjoy it all year long.

Once you’re done, take a deep breath. And know that even if it gets there late, they’ll love it. Especially if you call them on Valentine’s Day to say Hi, and let them know a special surprise is on its way to them.

Ahhh, the joys of blogging. When I first posted this article, I had a problem with it due to what is, apparently, a broken piece of software I was using. Up until then, the software had worked fine, but not anymore. In trying to fix the problem, I inadvertently made a worse problem. Now, when anyone clicks on the link to the original article about the second Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival, they are sent immediately to my 404 error page! If I just copy this article and paste it in twice, Google will not be happy. I’m sure that if I spent several hours, I might be able to resolve the problem, but that’s not an option for at least two weeks or more Soooo, I am trying this.  I’ve moved the article to a new title – http://www.sandwichink.com/boomers-seniors-blog-carnival-take-2 . It’s the post right above this post Hopefully it will kind of, sort of, fix it?

The nice thing about all this is that I’ve learned something new and that’s always fun for me. In fact, as much as I love to read and do learn so much from reading, I also learn so much from making mistakes. It’s an important part of growing. I will, therefore, use this moment to encourage you to take chances, make mistakes, and have fun doing it! (Hmmm, I do believe some of my grandkids’ Magic Schoolbus show influenced a little of that! A very enjoyable way to learn science with your grandchildren, I might add.) With that being said, I shall bid you adieu, with the hopes that your day is blessed, your mistakes are all educational, and that this fix fixes it!

Ahh yes, and don’t forget to take a peek at the article about the Boomers & Seniors blog carnival, and then pop on over and see all the interesting articles over there! http://www.sandwichink.com/boomers-seniors-blog-carnival-take-2

I discovered another item for the checklist:

17. Test drive each shower/bath tub, toilet, sink, dishwasher, washer and dryer. Not just to be sure they are running all right, but also to make sure they run all the way through properly AND all the drains are running well!

Here is a question and a checklist that is very important for all, but especially important if you are assisting an elderly parent in a move and will be leaving them alone when you are finished.

Is everything available, turned on, and working? We arranged for all utilities to be turned on Wednesday and we moved in on Friday. Between Wednesday and Friday we made several trips back and forth with boxes, did a lot of unpacking, and made sure the electricity, water, and TV were all working fine. Friday night came. Exhausted, we prepared our beds, turned on the the hot water to make some relaxing herbal tea and NOTHING! Oh, the water ran fine. Cold! But fine. Somehow we both missed the fact that there was no hot water. Friday night after the office and utility company had both closed is not a fun time to discover this!

It was definitely a frustrating moment but I’m used to flexing. I called and left a message for the apartment staff, warned mom there would be no shower in the morning and prayed a lot that we could get it turned on Saturday. However, if the same thing happened to an older senior, already exhausted from moving and feeling a bit lonely, it would be a much more difficult situation to handle. Do be sure to check every single thing before leaving, including the fuse box. Because that’s what turned out to be the culprit. Once I flipped the switch for the hot water heater, the problem was solved. Shortly thereafter we had plenty of hot water. Having never had an all-electric home before, this was a complete surprise to me!

Here are some of the vital things to check on:

1. Hot water
2. Lights in every room (We had to buy lamps for the bedrooms as there were no overhead lights.)
3. Electricity working in every room
4. Gas working in every room
5. Telephone
6. TV
7. Internet
8. Computer
9. Deadbolts on every door (We noticed the patio door did not have a deadbolt. I made a call to the apartment managers and they wonderfully had one installed a day or so later.)
10. Windows all in working order and easy to open and shut
11. Smoke Alarms (At the very least, test the batteries. It might even be worth it to install new batteries so you know how long they should last.)
12. Dishwasher
13. Washer / Dryer (be sure to check on whether you need to purchase a fabric softener dispenser if they need one.)
14. Garbage disposal
15. All wires, cords, connectors, etc. present and hooked up
16. Any repairs needed

Now it’s your turn. What would you add to this list?

(I apologize for no new article yesterday due to technical glitches from the move. That’s what led to number 15 on the above list )

The joys and woes of moving! For various and sundry reasons, my mom and I are moving into an apartment from a house. Talk about downsizing! Of course, we’re not the only ones! There are plenty of us Sandwich Generation families with elderly parents moving into retirement communities, senior apartments, or care facilities. Not to mention empty-nesters whose last child has headed off to an apartment of their own. This is a common life-change occurrence for Baby Boomers. It’s even more prevalent now, with the economic woes hitting so many people. House loans are causing sleepless nights. Layoffs are hitting every neighborhood. We definitely have plenty of company in this whole downsizing process, so I thought it’d be a good idea to share with you the questions I SHOULD have asked but didn’t know to. Now you’ll know the questions and the answers.

Question 1 – Where can I hook my connections up at? If you are moving into any kind of a rental, be it apartment, senior complex, or even assisted living, make sure you ask about your favorite connections! We are moving into a lovely, relatively modern, apartment complex. When the cable/internet/telephone company serviceman came to help with the phone, I mentioned I would be having him back in a couple of days to install internet/tv connections in at least one more bedroom. No problem, right? WRONG! It turns out that this apartment complex, like most I’m sure, doesn’t allow any wiring on the outside of the building. Unless I want to try to talk the two apartments above me into letting them cut holes and work in each of their apartments, I am fresh out of luck. Of course, I can have wireless internet anywhere, but I really like having a wired connection in my office. Looks like my main office will now have to be the living room. It’s not the end of the world, but if I’d thought to ask about it, it might have led us to choose a different apartment. It’s too late for me, but hopefully it will help some of you.

Question 2 – How will technology changes impact my special seniors? If it’s an elderly parent who is moving, make sure you think through the consequences if you make a change in the technology they use. I really wanted to switch providers as one company offers quite a bit more at a lower  price. I did plenty of phone calling and websurfing research and was all set to switch when this thought occurred to me and I’m so glad it did! Further research on that particular subject helped me realize my mom would have to learn a whole new setup for using her TV and VCR. Knowing that this would be extremely frustrating for her helped me to make the right choice to stick with the current provider.

Question 3 – If I am moving locally, keeping the same company for cable and internet, and even overlapping the services for a week, will it be a snap? Not necessarily. If you have a DVR or TIVO and you move it to a new house, it may very well stop working. You would probably be wise to call the cable company as soon as you do it and ask them to make sure it is set to work at the new address. I’m not sure if that is true with a simple box, but I’m betting it is true with the digital box. This is useful to know if you are helping your parent move in, as they might not understand how to deal with the problem. It’s also important to realize fixing one problem can inadvertently trigger another problem. After fixing the cable situation at the new apartment, I went home to the old house and discovered that my internet connection had gone away into LaLa land. Another half hour spent on the phone, crawling on my stomach to read the VERY TINY letters on the modems, eventually led to a restored internet connection. None of these problems were major and they were all fairly simple fixes – for me. For an elderly parent who is not tech-savvy, they could have made an already difficult move much worse. If that’s your situation, I would suggest that you plan ahead to be there so you can personally help them through it or have someone else available to assist them.

Well, that’s it for tonight. Tomorrow is more moving, with more questions to answer for you before you have to ask them. And if you have any questions to add, please send them my way via the comments or an email to Kaye@SandwichINK.com .

I remember trying to help a dear friend when he got brave and bought his own computer. I helped him set it up, spent hours explaining everything to him many times, and answered all his telephoned questions patiently. But after a couple of months, he gave up and decided he wasn’t that interested. I think part of the problem was that he felt like he was the only one who didn’t get it.

Today I went to the bookstore and discovered several books specifically geared for older adults who want to learn to use a computer.  I wish they had been available then! There’s something about holding a book in your hand with the help you need, to make you feel like you are not alone. If he could have had even one of these books, he could have read it on his own and realized he was NOT alone. And that others really HAD done it. And that he COULD do it!.

I would also have bought one or two of these books for another special friend of mine. She determined that she was going to learn to use the computer on her own, even though she lived so far from anyone who could help her with it – and she did! But these books would have made it so much easier for her.

Since computers, and computer books, become obsolete very quickly, I generally recommend buying the most recent book available. In this case, that would be “Computers For Seniors For Dummies.” I personally love the Dummies books. They are funny, interesting, and informative. This particular one starts at the very beginning with purchasing the computer. It takes you through the initial setup and customization, teaches you how to work with files, then branches out into scanners, printers, and fax machines. From there, it goes into using different programs such as word processors, spread sheets, media, music, and games. Part three is all about the internet including email, webcams, and blogs like www.SandwichINK.com (I couldn’t resist!). The final section covers protecting and maintaining your computer. All in all, this is a very well-rounded book. It explains things in a manner a non-tech can understand, and covers fun things as well as serious. And, of course, it has the normal Dummies cartoons that I always enjoy.

If you have a special someone in your life who would like to learn to use the computer or learn more about it, you might want to send them a copy of this book. You can click on the link below to order it directly from Amazon. I would suggest getting a copy for yourself as well so when they call to ask questions, it’ll be easy for you to help them find the information they need.

Computers for Seniors for Dummies

*Federal Interagency Forum on Aging-Related Statistics

**Pew Research Center