True confession time. I'm really good at many techy areas but when it came time to learn Facebook, I found it required a major learning curve, in spite of all the books I'd read about it! I still sometimes get lost over at my Kaye Swain profile page, which is actually called SandwichINK.

As a result, when Facebook first came out with Fan Pages, I thought it might be a good option for a SandwichINK page but it's taken me quite a while to figure it all out.

I still don't have as good a grip on it as I'd like but I"m getting better, having fun, and learning lots, while exercising my BRAIN – which will hopefully help stave off Alzheimers Disease with its dementia symptoms.

The SandwichINK.com page is up and running under the brand new personalized url of www.Facebook.com/SandwichINKforTheSandwichGeneration.com – whew! Quite a mouthful. It does beat the original one, though, which had a whole bunch of numbers.  For some reason, I couldn't do just SandwichINK.com. BUT it does show up if you search for SandwichINK.com or Kaye Swain or just click here. The joys of technology!  :)  And when it does, you'll see my cute grandma and grandkids clipart, as "we" sit in autumn leaves, reading a book. Speaking of which, I have a grandparents and grandchildren group going at Facebook to share extra ideas there, plus am part of a caregivers group. We'd love to have join in the conversation. 

You may also have noticed the brand new SandwichINK Facebook widget in the column to the right. It looks like this:

There you'll find also find extra information for all of us in the Sandwich Generation to help you as you are caring for elderly parents, raising children and/or babysitting grandchildren. So if you don't want to go to Facebook, or don't have time, you can get plenty of updates right here!  Perfect for all of us busy caregivers, don't you think? Got any suggestions? I'd love to hear them – hear OR there.  

P.S. If you have any problems accessing the pages directly – try typing it all in lowercase - www.facebook.com/sandwichinkforthesandwichgeneration – and THANK YOU to fellow grandparent Shayne Packer for his help to me in navigating the rough terrain of learning Facebook.

Kaye

Happy Second Sunday of Advent! My senior mom and I returned late this week from visiting family. It was so wonderful to see family members we rarely see and we were thrilled with all the wonderful hugs and love. Then we got to come home to even more wonderful hugs and love from family we are blessed to be close to. Talk about a wonderful HIGH for the week.

It wasn’t all happy and roses though as we had to deal with some health issues for a close senior relative, including a CAT scan to see what, if anything, was causing some stomach discomfort. After a lot of prayer and concern, the doctor said nothing major was showing up and that hopefully the discomfort would pass, otherwise more tests would follow in the coming weeks.

So far, praise God, the pain seems to have vanished and our dear kin is doing much better. I was so encouraged by all the prayers from our family, including one grandchild who even asked her class to pray. It is such a blessing to see the fruit of our teaching blooming so wonderfully in the next generation! And it is so encouraging to see God’s hand at work, even in dark situations. This time, it looks like He is giving us a reprieve. I know another time He may allow us to go through “high waters.” I also know that, even then, we can rest solidly on His promises including one of my absolute favorites from Isaiah 41:10:

Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Surely I will help you,

SURELY I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

I LOVE that second SURELY, don’t you! What a wonderful verse to give us hope during difficult situations! And what a blessing to be surrounded by family and friends who God often uses to encourage us.

One of my online friends who is great at that is Denise Brown from Caregiving.com. Today, she is kicking off a “Caregiving Holiday Progressive Blog Party” for care givers. To any and all who are visiting from that party, WELCOME! The goal of SandwichINK is to provide information and words of encouragement to all care givers, with a focus on the Sandwich Generation. The Sandwich Generation is made up of those who are providing senior home care to aging parents while still caring for kids at home and/or even helping extensively with grandchildren. Many of us are also in the Baby Boomer Generation.

I’ve been a member of the Sandwich Generation for over ten years, helping with senior parents, including my father who is now in heaven after battling with Parkinson’s Disease for over 15 years. I also help care for four of my many wonderful grandchildren, and deal with a wide variety of issues in that arena including special needs. Life is always challenging, never boring, and definitely rewarding and I am so grateful to God for that! I enjoy helping others, both through hands-on care and through my writing. SandwichINK, along with SandwichINK Real Estate Info (where I combine my love of real estate with the needs of the Sandwich Generation), both give me a chance to do just that!

I’d love for you to sign up SandwichINK’s free email. You’ll get regular updates on all that’s going on here, including fun projects for grandparents, great resources for senior home caregivers, tech tips to keep your computer working well, happy holiday ideas like Advent wreaths and fun Christmas tree ornaments, and so much more!

Thank you for stopping by and have a blessed Christmas season! Don’t forget to click on Caregiving.com’s Party Widget to find more interesting Progressive Party sites!  And check back tomorrow for A Pause for Advent!

Thanksgiving is Thursday, followed by Black Friday. Fun times for all on both days   After that, come two of my very favorite celebrations, Advent and Christmas. As a matter of fact, the first Sunday of Advent is this coming Sunday, November 29.  If you haven’t already done so, I would encourage you to purchase at least five candles – four red and one white. Even if you only see your grandkids once or twice through the season they, along with your senior parents, will enjoy an Advent wreath so much. It can also be a blessing to do your own personal devotions using them, whether just on Sundays or every night. And if you get the grandkids more often, this is such a grand way of teaching them about the true meaning of Christmas.

Starting next week, SandwichINK is joining in with Troc, Brock, and Recup by featuring a four week series of Advent ideas for Sandwich Generation Senior Care Givers and Grandparents. You’ll find Advent ideas here as well as at several other sites that will be a part of this fun series, giving you a great way to get in the mood and discover plenty of fun, interesting, and new ideas for celebrating the Advent and Christmas season with your multi-generational family.

The participants of this Advent series are from countries all around the world and are all ages including other Sandwich Generation-ers. I’m looking forward to learning new ways to prepare for Christmas from all over the world, as well as sharing some of my favorites as well. Join us, won’t you, as we have fun preparing our hearts for Advent, while teaching our grandkids the joy of doing the same.

Senior Home Care Giving:

Redefining Dementia as a Terminal Illness.  Dale Carter / Transition Aging Parents.

Excellent article and resource link discussing falls among the elderly due to certain medications at Alzheimer’s Reading Room.

Comforting Alzheimer’s and dementia care givers.  @ForCaregivers

COPD: Awareness Is Rising, But Understanding Is Still Low.  @PattyGrace

RLS or leg cramps at night for you or your aging parent? This seems weird but I have a friend who has tried it and says it works great! Anyone else tried it? 

An apple a day keeps Colon Cancer at bay!

Great resource for Boomers & Seniors at Seniors For Living with the latest Boomers and Seniors: News You Can USE!

Adding a Stair Lift to Aid a Senior Loved One.

Grandparents:

I really enjoyed reading all the interesting posts at the Homeschooling Blog Carnival at Janice-Campbell’s site. There’s some great ideas for our grandkids in homeschooling programs.

A good ebook resource for grandkids just starting in homeschooling programs.

LEGO toys and games are great for the grandkids and now LEGO brings historical figures to life including Mark Twain, Elvis and more. My grandson was quite intrigued by these and had me print him out a copy.   @prblog

Kids coloring pages to print including fun Thanksgiving coloring pages. Great for the grandkids

If you have an mp3 player, did you know you can buy simple stereo speakers for only $10 at Walmart and NO batteries are required? I just did that and now I can let my grandkids listen to stories and music with my iPod! Great for in a bedroom or you can even use them as frugal car mp3 players.

CurrClick is offering a free Thanksgiving workbook – fun for grandkids & grandparents.

Sandwich Generation:

I have always loved this quote – since I heard it years ago:  “To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am” ~ F. Bacon. Thanks to @RetiredTeacherD @Terrillific RT @gen_kenig for the reminder.

Loved this article on exercise at Moomette’s Magnificents. The comments weren’t bad either.

Words of Encouragement  for the Sandwich Generation!  Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Engrossed in watching the error messages my computer was spewing at me, I was somewhat amused that I apparently spilled my spoonful of yogurt onto my lap . When I looked down, shock replaced my amusement! The whole jar of yogurt was all over my pants. As I looked closer, I realized the bottom of the yogurt container had given way!

M y first reaction was “What did I do wrong?” Then I realized it was just an out-of-the-ordinary event. As the expression goes, “Stuff happens!”

God allows stuff in my life periodically to train me. These events let me practice praising Him for all things, even sticky fluffy messes in my lap. They cause me to stop and focus on God. To “be still” before God in prayer for just a minute, even if I’m rushing.

If I learn to stop and take a deep breath before reacting to a small thing, I then find it easier to do the same when something big hits home. As Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God, in Christ Jesus, for you.” All of these small lessons train me to better handle the big things that occur to me often which is part of being a caregiver for elderly parents and grandkids.

Such a lot of good lessons in such a small package of yogurt. God excels at that and I’m so glad!

CAREGIVING’S PROGRESSIVE PARTY PARTICIPANTS: Welcome to SandwichINK . This site is written with the Sandwich Generation in mind. My goal is the encourage you and inform you as you go about your daily tasks. If you are a caregiver for an elderly parent, still taking care of a child and/or helping take care of grandkids, you will find articles of interest for all those needs.  SandwichINK has articles about caregiving in general, the wide variety of needs of the elderly , Alzheimer’s Disease , Parkinson’s Disease , products to help you deal with all these needs, and more. You will also find articles with suggestions for fun projects to do with grandkids (and kids), games to play with them, ways to encourage them and help them learn , creative things to do at the different holidays , long distance ideas , etc. As a regular participant in the Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival , a daily Twitter user, and a continual internet researcher, I’m constantly on the lookout for useful , frugal , and interesting information for you. I’d love to have you join us on a regular basis by bookmarking this site and signing up for the free email or RSS feed option on the right.

If you are not part of the progressive party but would like to join in, pop over to Caregiving to find out all the details. It’s open to all and wonderfully FREE

Now, to quote Paul Harvey, “it’s time for the rest of the story:”

CAREGIVING VS. HOSPITALITY

Are you a caregiver for someone in your home? A spouse, elderly parent, child or grandchild? Do you want to be able to invite friends over to your house for a meeting, maybe for a Bible study group, a Neighborhood Watch meeting, or a book club? Do you feel frustrated because you or your patient don’t feel that is a viable option? Perhaps it makes your beloved uncomfortable or there just isn’t enough room for it. You’ll be glad to know there are other options available to you that you might not have thought of.

1. Restaurants – This is one of my favorites. Depending on the size of the group, you can either sit in the regular section at a booth or table or you could find one of the many restaurants with a private room available for groups to use. I’ve seen these in everything from fast food, such as McDonalds and Chick-Fil-A, to sit-down restaurants, such as Denny’s and Marie Callendar’s. Of course, you’ll probably need to make arrangements in advance. Just be sure if it is a restaurant where you would normally tip, that you tip an appropriate amount for the size of the group AND the time you spend there. If you take up a server’s table for more than 45 minutes, you should tip the full amount for every 45 –60 minutes you are there. Let them know that you will be tipping extra. They should be happy to know they are getting their normal tips, keep the water and coffee flowing, and welcome you back with open arms. Your group gets a pleasant place to visit with no clean-up afterwards. That’s always a win-win situation that makes me smile.

2. Apartment Community Room – Do you, or one of the other members, live in an apartment? If so, check to see if there is a community room available that you are allowed to reserve in advance. Most apartments make these available for free or for a small charge to cover extra cleaning. Check the room out in advance to be sure it will work well for your purposes. I visited one complex that was delightful, but it was set up for theater watching. This is fine if your meeting is more of a class setting, such as a guest speaker for Neighborhood Watch. If you are planning a time where everyone is sharing and getting to know each other, a less formal set up where everyone is in a circle would work better.

3. Business Community Centers – Check with your local businesses to see if any of them have a meeting room that they make available for free to community groups. When I was a neighborhood watch captain, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my local grocery store had one available for reservation to all local groups.

4. Churches – Many churches allow members to reserve a room for use for a community meeting as long as it is not already being used at that time. We held Neighborhood Watch meetings at one of our members’ local church and appreciated that the pastor often joined us for the meetings since his church was in the area. Obviously, your own church would be the best place to start. If they don’t have a viable option, check other churches near where you live.

5. Schools – Many schools have rooms available for community groups to use on a first-come, first-served, reservation basis. Some charge a small fee for the use while others make them available for free. Call the secretary at a local school to ask what the policies and availabilities are.

6. Libraries – Being a confirmed bookaholic, I always get to know my libraries well. One of the things I discovered is that many of them also have community rooms available. Call your local librarian to find out their rules and requirements.

7. Trade Services for Space – If your group prefers a home environment, see if one or more of the members would be willing to have it in their home, if you will agree to lead it. The pastor in charge of our home Bible study groups was wise enough to realize many people love to share their homes, but hate to be in charge. Others love to be in charge, but don’t have a home available. He set up his Bible study sign-ups to always have a person who volunteered to host and another who volunteered to lead. If your church or group doesn’t have that as an option, you can set up a group on your own with that as the plan.  You could even split the duties three ways. One person could host the event at their house, another would commit to bringing the cookies and coffee, and a third person could agree to lead. That makes it a lot easier for everyone. If you aren’t the only caregiver in your group, others will also be very grateful.

8. Virtual Meetings – Sometimes, no matter how much you need to get out and about, it just isn’t an option. I went through a season like that during the last two months my sweet father was on hospice. There was too much going on, and too many crises, to allow me to get out at all, let alone hostess any get-togethers. For those times, the caregiving community online becomes even more valuable and vital. Just a few minutes of the the normal visiting of sites, chatting on Facebook or tweeting on Twitter can be a big encouragement to an overwhelmed and exhausted caregiver. If there is a blog carnival or “progressive party ” going on, such as the one going on right now, that can also be a blessing. These are the moments when, instead of being the one giving the hospitality, you get to be blessed by others’ virtual hospitality. One excellent site to help with that, (in addition to SandwichINK ), is Caregiving . And as you read above, they are hosting a Progressive Party to introduce you to other great sites and give you some extra encouragement along the way. Bookmarking some of those sites that especially interest you and revisiting them in normal times will provide you with interesting and informative updates. Spending a few minutes at one or more in the midst of a crisis can give you that much-needed break you need, even if you can’t get away to take that break.

Caregiving is hard work , no matter how much you love the person you are caring for. It’s important to make sure you do have some time to yourself for something you are interested in. Hopefully, these eight ideas will give you a great launching pad to a fun outing on a regular basis. If you have other creative ideas, please share them with us in the comments section below.

Reuters had an interesting, albeit sad, article on the tax woes many, including senior citizens, are finding themselves in right now, due to the economic recession we are in. Some of the primary points in the article include:

• There are many who are self-employed who are not paying quarterly estimated taxes due to less income
• Others are withdrawing funds from 401s and IRAs too early, not realizing the nasty taxes and penalties this can generate
• Those who usually get tax refunds have lowered the amount being held out, resulting in the unexpected result of no refund or maybe even taxes due
• Many people are not telling anyone about tax problems because they are embarrassed, which means no help or support in dealing with the situation. I suspect this is especially common among senior citizens
• All of these types of problems (and more) are impacting rich and poor, old and young

As those who are elderly care givers, it may fall to us to help our aging parents and other relatives deal with these types of situations. I learned a long time ago that communication with the IRS is one of your best defenses. Despite the IRS’ tough reputation, every IRS employee I’ve ever dealt with has been kind, considerate, and very helpful. I’m sure there are exceptions to that, just as there are in any workplace. How you approach them can make a big difference as well. While it’s not necessarily feasible to bake them cookies or cakes, practicing the Golden Rule with them (do to them as you would have them do to you) works wonderfully overall.

Many problems can be solved through the proper paperwork, and if there isn’t enough money to pay a tax bill off, they are generally very reasonable about setting up monthly payments. It’s really important to deal with this ahead of time rather than letting fear of dealing with it create a worse problem.

Depending on your family’s situation, it might be wise to discuss the current economic situation along with taxes, retirement, etc., with your elderly relatives. If you sense some reticence, gentle probing might be a good idea. Let them know it can and is happening to anyone.

Good communication is vital and knowing we are not alone is always encouraging.

I’ve decided to make a slight tweak to my writing schedule. In the past, I normally posted around 10 – 11:55 pm, EST, unless I was on the west coast, in which case I went by PST. Occasionally I would vary that and post earlier if I had a topic I felt was vital to get out. I’ve decided to change that to posting at 12:01 a.m. EST or later so that when I am writing an article about a holiday, the date will match the holiday. It won’t really change anything. It just makes me happier to see it line up. (Yes, I have also been known to alphabetize spice cupboards ).

So, I am writing this to explain what’s up and posting it on April 15 before midnight. Then I will post my normal article after midnight. If I have something of importance that is time sensitive, I will continue to vary my schedule for that, as informing and encouraging you is my top priority!

With that, I’m off to go pick up mail at my post office box and hoping I don’t have any packages to pick up. If I do, I will have to stand in line for what will probably be a reallllllly long time as TODAY is APRIL 15. Would you believe it, I hadn’t realized the importance of today until I was checking the date for this article. I’ve been too busy taking care of a sweet mom, adorable grandkids, and writing. Just in case you’re as busy as me, I thought I’d take this moment to make sure you have your taxes mailed or that you’ve filed an extension.  Don’t forget to get proof of the mailing date. And isn’t it nice to be done with it all – at least until August 15!

Ahhh, the party’s over. The 2009 Blog Party that is. A great time was had by all, many old sites were revisited, many new sites were discovered, and many many prizes are to be awarded over the next few days. As we wait with baited breath to see who won what, I thought I would share with you three of the sites that I enjoyed.

A Frog In My Soup I think one of the reasons I like it is the name is just so great! I love frogs! Mostly I love the stuffed ones. Although we used to live where some cute tiny one inch ones also resided. Those I liked, as long as I didn’t have to touch them. This Frog is one I like! It’s about family, friends, fun, and contests. I like contests too, can you tell?  While I was visiting, I discovered a great article on fun and frugal Easter baskets . I loved that, while she did include candy, it wasn’t the primary thing. Our grandkids get so much candy I like looking for alternatives. Some fun ideas for Easter baskets I’ve prepared in the past include playing cards, books about Easter, and the Veggie Tales Easter DVDs. I also love to include Resurrection Easter Eggs as part of our celebration. As you may have noticed in the right column, I wrote an article about them for eHow. I also found a great site with the directions for making your own Resurrection Eggs . Now that’s a great Frugal Tip for Grandparents!

Speaking of frogs, another site I really enjoyed features nature photos, books, and family – all things I enjoy. Of Books and Memes has a great photo of a frog in midjump in the article Critter Pics . There was also a darling shot of a turtle who had poked his head up to say, “Hello.”   Too cute! My grandchildren will enjoy those photos!

Cute – that leads me to the third site for today. The Cutest Blog on the Block .  This site was indeed cute and sweet. There you can read about Joe and Bethany and baby Lincoln as they travel around the country singing and ministering for the Lord. Next time I moan about too little storage space, I’m going to think of them and stop that moaning! From her site, I followed a link to her husband’s site where I discovered his new business of pencil portraits drawn from photos. They were quite intriguing. This young couple is definitely multi-talented.

Well, that’s it for today. I hope you enjoyed this briefest of brief tastes of some of the fun I had at the 2009 Blog Party. I am already looking forward to next year! And a BIG THANK YOU once again, to 5 Minutes For Mom for hostessing this great event.

Guess what! We are going to a party! It will be fun. It will have prizes. You won’t have to dress up (unless you want to). You won’t even need to find a babysitter for the kids and/or grandkids, let alone a companion for the elderly parents. You can do it from the comfy spot right in front of your computer. I gotta admit, that’s MY kind of party!

I am officially inviting each and every one of you to join me on Friday, March 20, for the 5 Minutes for Mom’s Ultimate Blog Party 2009. In the column to the right, you will see this button.

Just click it on Friday and enter the party. There you will find all sorts of interesting blogs to wander through. Most, though not all, are mom/grandma blogs, (though I think there’s a grandpa or two there), some are caregiver blogs, many are Christian blogs, and all of them are interesting blogs. Even more fun, there will be prizes GALORE!

As 5 Minutes for Mom explains:

Only party guests (bloggers who signed the Linky and invited guests via a post and Invitation Button AND non-bloggers who have attended and commented on at least 20 participating party posts) will be eligible to win prizes.

We will draw the winners from the comments at the main 5 Minutes for Mom UBP ‘09 party post. So make sure you leave a comment on the 5 Minutes for Mom UBP ‘09 party post. (Our post during the party — not their instruction post!) We will award the prizes by a random draw.

If you have your own blog, I would highly encourage you to pop over to 5 Minutes for Mom http://www.5minutesformom.com/ and sign up to host a party at your site as well. Then come back here and leave your site in the comments section.

For all you wonderful readers:

The Ultimate Blog Party is for non-bloggers too! What would blogs be without readers?!?

So whether you have your own blog, or you just read blogs, you are invited to the party — and you are included in the prize draw!

All you need to do to be eligible for the prizes is comment on our party post and attend some parties.

(Visit and comment on at least 20 blogs participating blogs – simply click on the blogs name on the list of links called the Mr. Linky to party hop – and you will qualify as a party guest.)

I will be posting a “party post” on Friday, March 20, 2009, (hopefully on the dot of 12:02 a.m. Eastern time or thereabouts). Just pop on by anytime after that and start having fun. Be sure you comment on at least 20 blogs (starting with mine ) as well as the 5 Minutes for Mom blog (on the post for March 20). If you win something, be sure to let us know so we can celebrate with you!

The following week, I’ll be posting an after-party article to introduce us to new blogs and writers I’ve met and would love to hear who you met. As you can imagine, I’ll be looking specifically for blogs/writers who themselves are in the midst of the Sandwich Generation or who have ways to help those of us who are taking care of elderly parents, grandkids, and/or everyone in between.

Good reading, new friends, fun prizes. Sounds like a great time will be had by all. Y’all come, you hear.