My whole family loves to celebrate Advent. One of my oldest and favorite traditions is an Advent wreath. When my kids were young, I bought a lovely handcrafted Advent wreath made by a friend and we used that for many years. The pottery held five of the thin taper candles. We then “built the wreath” around it using Christmas tree branches. This same friend introduced us to the joys of beeswax candles. She made them by purchasing various candle making supplies including sheets of pliable beeswax and candle wicks. She cut out the sheets, rolled them tightly around a long wick string, and pinched them together. This would definitely be a fun and fairly easy project to do with the grandkids. Countrywide Magazine has instructions to help you make your own Beeswax candles. Or, if you want more detailed information and all the candle making supplies to go with it, Discount Candle has a complete kit. One thing I was surprised to find when I was looking at Advent wreaths today was that most only hold four candles, instead of the traditional five. My pottery wreath had five spaces but it was handmade. Since I had to put it in storage when we moved, I now use five big fat candles on the fireplace mantel, still surrounded by Christmas branches. I noticed that some people had made the beeswax candles several layers square which enabled them to stand up on their own. We’re going to have to give this a try this year, time and health permitting. If we succeed, I’ll pop up some pictures. If you beat me to it, I’d love to see photos of your creations. Whether we make our own Advent wreath and candles or buy them, we, along with our grandkids, will be blessed as we use them to help us celebrate the joyous Advent and Christmas season.

For more interesting Advent ideas from around the world, enjoy a great article by Floss about keeping our priorities in the right order during this Advent and Christmas season. Then head to her Advent article, Sharing a Pause in Advent, to find links to other interesting ideas and thoughts for Advent by writers from all over the globe.

Last week, as I was headed from the parking lot to my apartment, I noticed an adorable one-year-old tot climbing down the stairs from the second story, with no adult anywhere to be seen. Happily prattling away, she seemed quite unconcerned with the fact that she was all alone and getting ever closer to the parking lot where cars do tend to come around corners a tad faster than I might like.

I walked up the stairs to meet her and asked, “Hi Honey, where’s your mommy or daddy? She smiled at me cheerfully then looked up the stairs. I noticed an open door to the first apartment and took her hand, walking carefully up the stairs with her. When I got there, I could hear people talking normally. Having heard a little one’s voice from their apartment in the past, I nicely hollered out, “Hi, Is this your little one?”

Immediately the voices changed to sharp concern, and the mom cried out, “Nina, did you open the door?” She came running to the door, grabbed her precious daughter and hugged her close. It turned out Nina had figured out how to open the door to the apartment all on her own and left with no one noticing!

Her mom and I are very grateful for God sending me there just at that moment! Sadly, there are many news stories out right now of children injured or killed because there wasn’t someone at that moment.

As grandparents, it is so vital for us to be extra vigilant as we care for these precious little gifts from God. Right now, there is a grandfather and grandchild who desperately need our prayers. His little four-year-old grandson somehow got out on the lawn where the grandpa was mowing on his riding mower. Grandpa accidentally backed up onto the child who is now in the hospital in critical care! It’s a miracle he is still alive and only time will tell if he will ever totally heal. I can’t begin to imagine what that poor grandfather and his whole family are going through right now. It’s got to be a grandparent’s worst nightmare!

God never promised we wouldn’t have problems. In fact, He actually said we would have tribulation in this world! But He has promised never to leave us or forsake us! I cling to those promises while checking and double-checking and triple checking myself. Even so, as grandparents we are not only human, we are older than when we were parents. That means our reflexes do tend to be a bit slower. Fortunately, we are also a bit wiser so most of the time it tends to even out well. 

However, all of us need to remember to keep a close eye out, a close ear open, and do a lot of praying to keep these precious grandkids safe and sound to the best of our ability. I put this into practice to the max last week when I took my grandkids on a field trip as part of their home schooling program. I was counting heads non-stop, just like I used to do when my kids were young.  We did great, had a lovely time, and all came home safe and sound. But I do believe I was a bit more tired than I used to get.    Better extra tired though, and extra safe! So have fun, stay safe, and do, please, pray for that grandpa and his family!

Has it hit your household yet? The motorcycle bug, I mean? Yes, my friends, part of the joys of the Baby Boomer Generation is all those wonderful men of ours finally getting to have their ultimate dream, a gorgeous Harley Davidson motorcycle. My husband, who is safely tucked away in heaven, got his when he was in his mid-40s. He loved it! It gave him a wonderful de-stressor to hit the roads and let the wind blow the frustrations of the day out of his mind. Me? I loved him! Since our kids were grown, only one grandkid had so far appeared, and I had a flexible schedule (I wasn’t yet caregiving), I figured if he was on his motorcycle, that’s where God wanted me as well! He was very sweet and picked out a bike that I could be as comfortable on as he was. He even bought the extended back seat with arms since the backless seat that came with the bike killed my back!

We both had fun picking out our Harley Davidson helmets, our Harley Davidson leather jackets, and our Harley Davidson boots. We looked so cool! Well, truth be told, our kids looked much cooler in the jacket we picked out for them to share. Only one could ride at a time so they only needed one – and my comfy jacket was decidedly uncool to them.  But that’s OK. We had fun!

I enjoyed commingling my interests with his very consuming motorcycle focus. Since I was taking college classes at the time, I learned to do homework on our rides. Yup, that was me, reading a large history book propped up against his back, as we were cruising through the country. I went through two textbooks that semester AND got an A in the class. I was blessed that my sweet husband thought it was all quite adorable.

I love Harley Davidson T-Shirts. They are so comfy, well-made, and I love the different designs. We started collecting them from every city we traveled to. Boy, did we have a terrific T-shirt collection!

One great thing about our Harley Davidson motorcycle is that it made gift-giving occasions so easy. Take Father’s Day, for example, since it’s right around the corner. I would head to one of my favorite Harley Davidson stores and spend an hour or so and come home with the greatest gifts, often on sale. They always had a sales table with a constant variety of intriguing surprises to entice me with their terrific prices!

Of course, since we collected them, I always checked for any new Harley Davidson T-Shirt designs. Those are always great gifts for anyone. I could even justify getting myself a matching one as part of the gift. Too cool! There were plenty of other fun things there as well. Even if they weren’t on sale, I was always impressed with the great quality of the Harley products. And if there was absolutely nothing that caught my attention, I knew it was time to head for the gift cards. He could ALWAYS find something he loved with one of those. By the way, if I’ve whet your appetite for some motorcycle madness shopping, Check out the Closeouts at Motorcycle Superstore!
It’s a great way for caregivers to shop online when they don’t have much time. That way, you can save your precious free time for the actual joy of riding!

We come from a long line of motorcycle lovers. His parents each had their own bike and went cross-country on them several times. My little ones loved it when their motorcycle grandma and grandpa would ride up on their bikes, each with a cute little poodle in its own special home on the back of a bike. With a brother who is an expert at repairing them, and two sons who each love their own, I suspect that line will continue on, ad infinitum. Hmmm, maybe it’s time to buy another Harley Davidson T-Shirt? Do you suppose they finally got one in that says, “I’m a bike-riding member of the Baby Boomer Generation and proud of it!” Or how about, “Caregiving’s my name, and riding’s my game!” 

As families continue to scatter across the US and further, more women and men in the Baby Boomer Generation and older are flying all over, often alone. Not only that, for many of them it’s the first time they’ve flown alone. It may even be the first time they’ve ever flown at all.

I had a few trips under my belt before I started having to travel so much, thanks to my parents. My dad and mom gave me a great gift when I was 30. I had never flown before. Southwest and America West had both just started and were offering fantastic deals. For about $7 per ticket, my dad took my mom, my three kids, and myself from Southern California to the Phoenix Zoo. We flew there and back the same day. Back then, smoking was allowed and I was in misery in the back smoking row, but it was still thrilling. They even had seats that faced backwards, which made me rather queasy. I’m so glad they all face forwards now!

I was able to fly with my whole family a couple of times after that. The first time I had to fly alone (well, not alone, but as the only adult with three kids under 9!), it was a tough day, made harder by several prolonged delays due to mechanical difficulties. I was nervous and on edge, but I did great, because of the past experience. Being in my 30s helped a lot too.

A dear friend of mine needed to go on her very first plane trip ever. As a member of the Baby Boomer Generation, and two years away from being an official Senior Citizen, she was very nervous about the whole process. I could certainly understand. If my first trip had been in my 50s instead of my 30s, with my eyesight not as great and my arthritis slowing me down just a bit, it would have been a much more difficult trip.

She was able to combine plans with another friend who had traveled alone several times. They traveled together, which made it much easier for her first time. Her next couple of trips were by herself but her husband could drop her off, her son could pick her up and she had no layovers. She was scared at first but thrilled at her accomplishment when the trip was completed. Then the big day came when, due to a family crisis, she had to make reservations quickly, fly by herself with two plane changes, and return home in time for a vital appointment. She did GREAT! Can you imagine how that trip might have gone if she hadn’t had the earlier ones? Just like anything in life, practice makes perfect, or at least closer to perfect than when you started.

If you, or a special senior in your life, have never taken a plane trip anywhere, or if you have flown but never by yourself, I would encourage you to watch the sales, and take a plane trip or two somewhere close, just for fun. It would make a nice little getaway, which always helps ease caregiver stress , and it would give you a chance to practice doing something you’ve never done before.

You may wind up with just some great memories and never need to use the experience you’ve gathered. Then again, senior health care or grandkids’ needs may spring an emergency on you out of the blue. As you sit in that plane, praying hard for the beloved you are headed to visit, you will be so grateful for the experience that is helping to make this trip just a little bit easier.

Swine Flu Updates for Caregivers:

It’s going to be very important for caregivers to monitor the Swine Flu situation. WHO (World Health Organization) raised the pandemic flu alert level to 4 .

Grandkids and Grandparents:

For all those who are helping with homeschooled grandkids, you’ll find this quite interesting – 10 Homeschooled Celebrities .

Here’s a great list of car contests . Wouldn’t it be fun to enter them together with an older grandkid ? Bet they’d think you were the best grandparent in the world!

If your grandkids are more into dollhouses, there’s a fun project for them as well at Grandma Wren’s .

Eldercare:

Five Tips for Preparing a Traditional Eulogy . Good advice from @cemeteryspot. In addition to his great ideas, I like to share their favorite Bible verses, hymns, etc.

What it means When Someone With Dementia Says “I Want to Go Home ” Thank you to @caring4seniors.

Caregiving.com has several podcasts of interest to caregivers including “Cooking with Mom “–tips on how to make cooking a caregiving activity to enjoy.

Pesticide exposure Found To Increase Risk Of Parkinson’s Disease .

Are you interested in HBO’s, “The Alzheimer’s Project ” but don’t get HBO? Alzheimer’s Reading Room has a great solution for you – a free copy of “The Alzheimer’s Project. ”

Alzheimer’s Disease – This article, with facts and figures about this disease, includes the 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease . Thanks to @ alzheimers98 .

Encouragement:

The Lord God is my strength.

General Interest:

How many of you enjoyed the movie, The Sound of Music ? Here’s an interesting interview with one of the real Von Trapp kids, Maria von Trapp, talking about her new book, My Favorite Songs . Thanks to @ ActiveGeezering :

Bible Money Matters has an excellent article on what types of insurance we should have.

If you or an aging parent need help buying a new toilet, Terry Love’s Consumer Toilet Reports is the BEST site I’ve ever seen on that subject. I’ve used his site as a resource several times. He has reviews, recommendations, and a great forum with even more information and help

AARP – As a member of the Sandwich Generation and a Baby Boomer I qualified for AARP a couple of years or so ago. I wasn’t thrilled to know I was old enough for it, until I discovered that my optometrist gives a generous discount for AARP members AND Borders gives a great discount off all books to AARP members. Now I’m thrilled I qualify! 

Finally, as a special gift to all my fellow Sandwich Generation caregivers , I am ending this post with a big smile. Take a look at these photos. They were taken for a special event,  Extreme Grooming of Poodles – The dogs have been groomed into camels, Clydesdales, and more! That’s what you call a different kind of caregiving!

Autism Awareness Day was April 2, but Autism Awareness Month continues through the whole month of April. Autism continues to increase and to make news headlines every month but April is a time to really focus on the issue. I thought it would make an excellent topic for this week’s Thursday Current Events Meme as many of us may have grandkids who are directly impacted by it.

Medical News Today has an interesting article with the headline, Early Diagnosis Of Autism To Maximize Positive Outcomes . I can certainly agree with that. I have several friends dealing with this and each one has commented on what a difference it made getting the diagnosis early. Over and over I’ve heard different ones explain that because their children were diagnosed early and got started with the special therapy each child needed, the families were seeing major progress. And because they come into contact with so many other families with autism, they also have sad stories of kids who didn’t get diagnosed until much later and what a difficult time they are having.

Finding out your grandchild has autism can be difficult. But ignoring the very real possibility doesn’t make things any better. Instead it frequently makes things worse. It’s so vital that we, as grandparents, choose to deal with this situation in a positive manner and encourage our adult kids by being supportive of whatever choices they make. There are a lot of differing opinions out there. They are the ones who have to make the hard choices and we just have to be there to encourage them. We can also help with babysitting the other kids so the parents can take our grandchild into therapy appointments and have time to talk to the therapist. Alternatively we can take the grandkids to the therapy appointments, giving their moms and dads a much needed break.

Being a caregiver to an autistic grandchild is definitely a challenge, but it is a tremendous blessing as well. Age Of Autism has a delightful article showing the positive impact two grandparents made and the various ways they supported their family including their grandson who was diagnosed with autism.

Another excellent gift you can give your kids and grandkids is the gift of knowledge. Read up on autism so you can discuss it knowledgeably with your adult kids. As I mentioned earlier, it’s important for us to be aware that there can be considerable variation in the treatment options available. Since specialists are still learning about autism, that is not surprising. What’s important for us is to be supportive of the direction our adult kids and their doctors take. Some resource sites include:

Autism Research Institute

Autism Society of America

Autism Spectrum Disorders Site – This page has a compilation of radio programs that cover the autism spectrum on a variety of topics and issues.

Autism Today

CARD

Unlocking Autism

Here are two books that might be useful:

Raising a Child With Autism: A Guide to Applied Behavior Analysis for Parents

The Autism Sourcebook: Everything You Need to Know About Diagnosis, Treatment, Coping, and Healing–from a Mother Whose Child Recovered

Whether our grandkids are on the high end of the Autism spectrum or the low end, they and their parents need our love, our support, and our caregiving. What a blessing it is to them and to us when we are in a position to provide that.

Providing wise care for your aging parents when using a Power of Attorney was discussed in yesterday’s post . Today, I want to follow that up with some additional information that is especially relevant in today’s economy.

With all the changes in the marketplace, including banks buying out other banks, merging, and sometimes even closing, it’s important to stay on top of the elderly care we provide our parents by monitoring their financial situation in regards to what is happening with those banks.

A good friend inadvertently discovered this when he had to call a bank on behalf of his grandfather. They had done all the paperwork required by the bank a few years ago, including filing and notarizing the bank’s required forms on top of providing the Power of Attorney their own attorney had prepared. Now the bank has merged with another bank and has a new name. You can imagine his shock when he called the new bank’s primary call center regarding a letter he received, only to be told they couldn’t talk to him as he didn’t have Power of Attorney.

He called the branch where they had originally opened the account and discovered the manger was no longer there. Fortunately the new manager was very helpful. He discovered that the new bank had implemented a plan to have all the paperwork scanned into computers. For some reason, his grandfather’s paperwork had never been scanned in. It took them over an hour on the phone while she tracked down the original paperwork, and another hour on her part to completely solve the problem. She finally called him later that night with the good news that all was fixed. Wisely, he waited a week, then called the primary call center back where he was able to confirm that they did, indeed, show that he had Power of Attorney.

Can you imagine if that had happened in the middle of a crisis? I learned to:

1. Call any bank that has recently made a change to verify all of our information is still showing accurately. It might be wise to wait about three months after the bank changes hands, to give them time to complete their paperwork processing.

2. Keep a copy of all documents in a file at home.

3. Keep a copy of the Power of Attorney (reduced in size) easily accessible at all times in case of an emergency.

4. It might even be wise to call each bank your senior parent uses every year or two to verify that all is in order.

Even when banks don’t change hands, mistakes do happen. It’s always easier to sort these issues out when there isn’t a problem, rather than discovering a mess in the middle of an emergency situation.

Power of Attorney. Doesn’t that sound powerful? You watch TV, someone produces one of those, and they have total power with no problems. Now try that in the real world. You’ll probably find it’s not quite that easy. Don’t get me wrong. It’s vital to have one. I highly recommend asking an attorney for the state your aging parent lives in to prepare a Durable Power of Attorney. Different states have different rules, so that can be very important. If you are not sure what a Durable Power of Attorney is, you can read an excellent article about it at ElderGuru.

Once you have the power of attorney (poa) and it is signed and notarized, it’s then VERY important to contact each and every company your elderly parent does business with, especially the banks and financial companies such as Charles Schwab. You will discover that many, if not all, of them require their own Power of Attorney form in addition to or instead of your senior parent’s own Power of Attorney. Plan on spending a day or two (or more) working on this. Each one often requires an hour or more as you fill out the forms, provide any necessary documents, etc. If it’s a bank, they should be able to provide the notarizing for you. If you are doing any of it by mail, then you will have to find your own notary public. I even ran across one company that required something different than a notarization, which my own bank had to provide. Fortunately, they knew how to do it as I had never heard of it before.

Preparing a Power of Attorney isn’t difficult, but it is time consuming to begin with. It is a vital part of eldercare, though, so be sure you look into this well before you think you will need it. Once you do need it, it may be too late.

Can you believe it? It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday! Seems like just yesterday my grandkids and I were singing Christmas carols. Another year is flying by. Holidays are a great time to make some special memories with our grandchildren as we create special craft projects, work on kids coloring pages, word puzzles and mazes, and play fun holiday games together. Here’s several links to some Valentine fun and games for all ages.

Amazing Moms has several adorable Valentine projects including a Hershey’s Kiss Mouse, a traditional Swedish heart basket, and even a cute Valentine made from leftover Christmas candy canes! How frugal is that one!

DLTK is always an excellent source of coloring pages to print, work papers for homeschooling programs, etc. and Valentine’s Day is no exception. From a “Bee My Valentine” Muffin Flower Card that the littlest grandchild can work on, to Valentine anagrams and mazes for the older set, you’ll find plenty of fun projects for you and your grandchildren to enjoy! There’s also plenty of school projects for regular classrooms or homeschool classes, as well. Your grandchild’s teacher will love you if you volunteer to bring some fun Valentine worksheets to the party this Friday!

Danielle’s Place has simple as well as simply adorable Valentines your grandkids can make for their parents, great-grandparents, and you! Who knows, they may even talk you into helping them make these for each of their classmates. They’re really cute. Being a teddy bear lover, I’m especially partial to the Paper Plate Valentine Bear Craft.

Grandparents.com has three interesting projects. A fairly simple Bucket of Love for the little grandkids using marshmallows, a somewhat simple one for the older grandchildren, making a mosaic out of eggshells, and a fairly complicated Heart Keepsake Box that is beautiful.

Family Fun is always an excellent resource. Here you’ll find projects, crafts, kids coloring pages, and even games for Valentine’s Day –

Speaking of games, whether to help with a party for the day, or just to enjoy on the next grandkid visit, here are a couple of other fun links. First head back to Amazing Moms – for a tower race using candy hearts, and a fun story game for the older grandkids.

Then pop over to About.com which also has some useful links for grandkid games and more.  They even have a fun online trivia game about Valentine’s Day. I took part 1 and got an 85! Then got a 95 on part 2. I decided I need to get back to writing this before I tried Part 3, but you can try all the parts and have lots of fun with those grandchildren as giggle and guess while working on the computer! If you take it, be sure to leave a comment and tell us what your score was

Well, time to set out the kids coloring pages, construction paper, and crayons. Let the Valentine games, and crafts, begin!

Stumbleupon is a fun site to check out if you like researching for new sites. If caregiving keeps you so busy, you don’t have the time or interest to go on a site hunting expedition, that’s ok. I do it on a regular basis and will bring you the best of the best of what I find right here at SandwichINK.  Here’s one I found last night:

Shave Off The Years – A day’s worth of tips to look a decade younger – This is an article I found at a site geared for working men. I’m not sure what caught my attention initially but I was glad I read it. It discusses things we Baby Boomer Generation men AND women can do to look their best in any kind of professional setting, whether in an important meeting with your boss, at the doctor’s office with an aging parent, or in a meeting with a grandkid’s principal. The writers, Lindsey Aspinall & Trevor Thieme, give many great suggestions on 15 different ways to look alert, professional, and even a bit younger even if you’ve been up all night with a sick grandkid or grandfather.

Did you know that when you sleep, gravity works against you to cause your eyes to look all puffy? Their first set of tips gives you two different ways to deal with that. Number 4 gives advice on what to wear to look slimmer and professional. Number 10 discusses the use of naps during the day. I must say, I love a good nap when I can find the time! They are a wonderful tool for the caregivers of the Baby Boomer Generation. All in all, a very interesting and useful article. One suggestion, when you open the page to read it, scroll down and select the button that says PRINT THIS ARTICLE. This will open the article into a single page that is easier to read.

Now I’m off to put number 5 into practice – chewing my gum so I can react faster when I am playing tag with those sweet and speedy grandkids.