I was quite interested in the news headline “ER Visits for Senior Citizens Rise at Thanksgiving.” Their premise is that this occurs because the aging relative’s family members haven’t seen them in quite a while and/or they underestimate the effects of normal aging.

Their overall thought process does make sense. If you only see an aging relative once a year, it can be quite a shock to see how their health may have deteriorated considerably since the last visit. And, while Thanksgiving has passed, the same points would be true for the whole holiday season through Christmas or even the New Year, as many of us don’t get all of our visits finished until then.

Then again, several members of my family have dealt with various legitimate trips to the ER in the last 20 years. We actually had one trip to ER the day before Thanksgiving but it was NOT a false alarm. My senior dad developed pneumonia and, shortly after that hospital trip, he was put on hospice. Other relatives have been admitted to the hospital during the holiday season, ending plans for holiday travel. In some cases, the planning process itself could have been a small part of the problem. In other cases, the fact that it was cold and flu season was a definite factor due to complications from bronchitis, pneumonia, etc. Often, our immune systems are weakened due to stress, travel, not sleeping well, not eating healthily, and other reasons.  I know many families who have dealt with similar circumstances.

While I don’t necessarily agree that unfamiliarity is the only reason for the increase in emergency, the article does make some excellent points and contains good advice of what TO do throughout the year as well as what NOT to do in these circumstances. I totally agree with them that, while it could be a false alarm, if you have any concerns about the health of your beloved senior, it is vital to take them to the doctor’s office, urgent care or, if serious, the Emergency room to have them checked out. With the holiday season now in full swing, I would encourage you to pop on over and read the article. And have a healthy and peaceful holiday season.

Moving is a tough job! Moving also tends to cause us to get behind on important details and such is the case this week as I JUST realized an interesting new Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use came out last week! Not only that, EldercareABC had two informative blog carnivals on October 7 AND 14! The fact that I was caravanning cross country during most of this time period, with limited web use, could have something to do with this lapse on my part.

Well, now that I’ve discovered all this interesting info, here’s a brief review of each to whet your appetite, along with the encouragement to join me in exploring them fully to help us on our joint journey of Sandwich Generation senior home care giving and grandparenting!

Boomers and Seniors: News You Can Use

I especially enjoyed the article by Patty Grace on hospice and palliative care. As I commented there, we were very blessed by both of these during my dad’s last few weeks on earth. They were wonderful, and walked us through everything step by step, but her article is an excellent overview of both systems.

Another article that caught my eye was Memory Triggers, a book to help us communicate better with our aging parents who have dementia.

You’ll find interesting articles dealing with fun ways to exercise which can help lower your cholesterol, ways to communicate with aging parents who have dementia, tips on coaching, social security and retirement, and more at Ageless-Sages, who wonderfully hosted this particular Boomers and Seniors!

EldercareABC Blog Carnival – October 7

The October 7 issue has a fascinating pair of articles by Derrick Grant explaining what SLUMs is and how it can help us with parents who may have started struggling with dementia, along with versions of this test in several different languages.

You’ll also find articles on the lack of a cost of living raise for Social Security, how to deal with senior assistance resistance, and more!

EldercareABC Blog Carnival – October 14

I found several interesting articles about caregiver stress and coping strategies in this post. I was also especially encouraged by the personal essay, The Two Millies. It was so sweet to read about this sweet friendship that developed in a care facility between two aging mothers and their families.

All in all, three interesting blog carnivals with plenty of useful information! Which was your favorite article?

I have to confess. I am rather exhausted, frazzled and achy. My senior mom is feeling the same. The joys of moving! I know that two weeks from now we’ll both be fine and fairly well unpacked and feeling much cheerier.

In the meantime, we each have our own ways of achieving pain relief. I prefer Motrin. Having grown up with parents who used Ben Gay, my mom’s favorite method is using Thermacare HeatWraps and SalonPas. These provide warm heat directly to a bothersome area. She loves these and keeps a close watch on the sale ads at places like Walgreen’s and Rite Aid to stock up when they go on sale.

She had one particularly bothersome area last week so she applied a SalonPas to it for a few days in a row. We’re not sure if she used it for too many days or left it on too long or what. Whatever the cause, she ended up with a painful red burn – about 2 inches by 2 inches square. Not majorly painful but it did hurt.

She still loves her Thermacare HeatWrap and SalonPas, but she’ll definitely watch the time she leaves it on and uses it more carefully in the future.

How about you? What’s your favorite been-moving, achy-body solution? We’d love to hear

As senior home care givers the time may come for many of us when we have to help one parent deal with the death of their beloved spouse. If this is also our parent, it makes the situation more difficult for everyone.

A few things that have helped me when dealing with the loss of close loved ones:

Music

“Music can sooth the savage beast” and the sorrow-filled heart. I was tremendously blessed to listen to my favorite praise and worship music. It kept me focused on God, even when I couldn’t seem to focus on a anything else. A friend of mine prefers country western hymns such as those by Johnny Cash. Whatever music your parent enjoys, you might want to suggest they listen to it in their home as well as purchasing a CD of encouraging music in the style they normally like and have it playing when you take them out in the car or when they come to your house.

Helping Others

Staying busy can be good. I had one sweet pastor who wanted me to sit and do nothing while others did everything for me. That would not have worked for my personality. Staying busy and even helping others actually worked to help me as  well. Though this is definitely a time to be helping your parent, you might also look for simple little ways they can help you. For many, this might prove to be an encouragement to them as well.

Photos

We are blessed with several excellent photographers in our family. As a result, we had many pictures of our loved one available. One of our family members made enlargements of several of the best shots and we put them around the house. Just seeing them made us smile, even though it was sometimes a bittersweet feeling. Even if the quality of your photos is more like mine, rather than semi-professional, they can still be an encouragement. I now have an old computer set up with a non-stop photo slideshow which we all love to see for a second or two as we pass through the room it is in.

Talking About Them

One piece of advice I read in more than one book was to make sure you talk about your loved one and be open to listening to others talk about them. Some people are afraid to bring them up for fear of hurting the surviving spouse. That spouse may then feel like they can’t talk about their loved one. Because of that advice, I would occasionally bring up the person in the context of telling a sweet or funny story about them and have found that has always been appreciated.

There is no perfect way that works for everyone. But hopefully one or two of these ideas will be a blessing to you and your family, as they have been to ours.

I recently learned a new tip to help all of us senior home care givers who have to be away from their aging parents for a time, or who help seniors who live far away.

Make a list of each fuse box’s location, which fuse controls which parts of the house, and write up directions for how to reset a breaker. I am planning on sending it to my email in my computer AND my cell phone so I have it at all times, along with the location of each of the sockets that have RESET capability on them.

It’s very rare that a fuse is blown or a breaker is tripped. When it does, however, it can be a real problem for your senior parent, who may not know or remember how to reset them. Couple their being upset or frustrated with your not knowing, or remembering, the step-by-step instructions you need to give them, and you could have a mini-crisis on your hands.

We discovered this idea when a senior friend who lives out-of-state was so upset because the microwave had broken. I explained to him that it was probably the breaker and had him check various things, such as the refrigerator and the garbage disposal. They all worked, though, so he was planning on buying a new microwave and really upset with himself for what had happened. Fortunately, before he got a chance to go shopping, he decided to use his blender. When he plugged that into a different socket, it didn’t work either. “Ah ha,” he thought.

He called his apartment manager and they tried to talk him through it by telling him to push the reset on the socket above the garbage disposal. There was no socket above the garbage disposal, though. Then the front office employees sent the maintenance staff over and they helped my friend get everything back in running order, by resetting the socket that turned out to be behind the microwave.

If he had lived in a house instead of an apartment, he might never have been able to figure out how to fix this until friends or relatives came to visit months down the road. Spending half an hour to compile a list of all the sockets and fuse boxes turns a bad problem into a simple and easily dealt with problem, no matter how many miles separate us from our aging parents and relatives.

Don’t you find that, as a Sandwich Generation senior home care giver and grandparent, you generally find it easy to obey Paul’s charge in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “pray without ceasing,” since there are so many needs to pray for? Do you ever find yourself so stressed, worried, upset, frazzled, drained, or just plain exhausted that you can’t find the words to pray, but you NEED to pray? I’ve been there many a time. Illness, emotions, death… And those are just some of the reasons. I do have a great solution for that, though, and it’s easy. I pray Scripture.

I often carry a list of favorite verses in my purse as well as having a Bible tucked into my car. I even have the whole Bible in my cell phone along with an audio version (including the great free one from Christian Audio this month) in my mp3 player. That makes it easy for me, no matter what my situation, to latch on to a favorite verse or five and pray them to God over whatever my heart is troubled by.

Many of my favorite passages are in the Psalms and most of my Bibles have several comforting passages underlined, and sometimes even re-underlined! Using Psalm 91 as an example, I would pray something like:

Father God, Thank You that You have led me to dwell in Your shelter. Help me to always abide in Your shadow, Lord, no matter what the trial. Oh Lord, thank You that You are, indeed, my refuge and my fortress, My God in Whom I trust! Please deliver me from the snare of fear and please deliver my loved ones and myself from the deadly pestilence. Please cover us with your pinions and help us each to seek refuge under Your wings. Thank You that Your faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. I rest in You, my precious Savior.

Please deliver me from the terror by night and the illness that stalks in darkness. Thank You for leading me to make You, Lord, my refuge and that You, the most High, are my dwelling place. Thank You that You are with me in trouble. I rest secure in You!

I don’t try to use every verse. I just scan through and use the ones that fill my heart with prayer or praise for my particular situation.

I have found that God uses this to calm me and focus me on Him, at least for a bit. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’ve been in such a dark valley, it’s definitely hard to even do this. Those are the times when all I can do is grab one verse and say it over and over and over. Even that has proven to be a blessing and a help.

Truly, I have seen Him walk by my side even closer as I walked “through the valley of the shadow of death.” I pray you, too, will find this to be a comfort and an encouragement in difficult times.

Twitter is always a terrific resource for the Sandwich Generation, and this week is no exception:

SENIOR HOME CARE GIVERS:

Cold Sore Virus Linked to Alzheimer’s Disease.

Cancer drug may improve memory in Alzheimer’s patients.  Per @ParkinsonsInfo

Here’s a lovely example of sisters, with one providing senior home care for the other.

Years Later, Divorce Complicates Caregiving.

CarePathways has provided a great Senior Home Care Checklist.

GRANDPARENTS:

If you have a grandchild with autism or sensory integration disorder, you might enjoy one of the AMC-Autism Society Sensory Friendly Films. The next one will be Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in select AMC theatres on September 10.

SANDWICH GENERATION:

Eliminating Clutter Gives New Retirees a Clean Break.

Live Longer through Flossing. Another great site from @Carebuzz. And how’s this for perfect timing, along with another of my favorite ways to save money. I just spotted a website with coupons for those cool little floss sticks that make it easier to floss. I recently discovered they even have extra thin ones to for those with tight teeth and sensitive gums!

Facebook posts may open doors to burglars!  With Baby Boomer Generation women being one of the fastest growing Facebook users, this warning really hits home for us! Not only that! The same can be true for Twitter, blogs, and even leaving comments at another site. It’s probably best to write about a vacation AFTER you return.

ChristianAudio is giving a free audio New Testament Bible this month. It’s the God’s Word translation. This is perfect for busy senior home care givers to keep up with Bible time, even when you’re on the run!

Knowing what medications our aging parents take is vital, along with how each of the medications interact with each other. Knowing how old the medications are is another important need for all of us senior home care givers. It’s important that any out-of-date medication be disposed of carefully, for the health of your aging parent and to prevent anyone else from taking medications that don’t belong to them.

When our senior parents are close to us, the process is usually pretty easy. Some just need reminding, while others will appreciate our offer to help or even do it for them. If yours does not want it done and you are concerned for their welfare, I would suggest talking to their doctor or nurse privately and having them bring it up as a directive at your parent’s next visit. It’s amazing how much power that can have.

In rare and extreme cases, a few senior home care givers may need to do it surreptitiously in which case I would try to do one – two medications at a time, making sure they get a replacement medication in a timely manner.

We can’t check on our long distance relatives’ medications as easily, of course, but we can help by reminding them. A useful tip for both near and far is to put a reminder on our own calendar one – two times each year. I would follow the fire department’s good idea and couple this reminder with the time change. Those make great times to help our close by relatives and remind our long distance parents to change their security alarm batteries of any kind (smoke, fire, burglar, etc.) as well as encouraging them to weed through and safely dispose of any medications that are now out of date.

These are simple tips that can make a major positive impact. They can go a long way to helping our aging parents stay healthy longer, which is a blessing for them AND for us.

Are you in the throes of dealing with Swine Flu? Are you wondering if it is still around? Do you think you or one of your aging parents or grandkids has it? First and foremost for the first and last questions is to make sure you call your doctor and get their recommendations.WebMD has a fascinating article on where the latest Swine Flu outbreaks are After you talk to them, if you want more info (or while you are sitting on hold ), and the fact that college campuses are showing up as a signal for the hot spots.

A friend who has been dealing with it commented that he just wanted to know what Swine Flu complications to be concerned about. Turns out WebMD has an article with excellent tips to cover that as well, along with who is most at risk.

For the latest news on what medications are or are not being recommended, you can head over to the Wall Street Journal to read Swine Flu Update: Most People Don’t Need Antiviral Meds. There you’ll find an easy to read and understand summary of the CDC’s newest guidelines about the use of antiviral medication like Tamiflu.  The article also lists warning signs to watch for in children, so if you have a grandchild with the Swine Flu and you want more information after already talking to your doctor, this would be a good resource!

If you don’t have the Swine Flu and the grandkids are coming to visit, Flu.gov has created four short videos with tips for kids on how to prevent Swine Flu and other germs – starring everyone’s favorite Muppet – Elmo!  I bet your grandkids would have fun watching these a few times, and as they do so, some important lessons will wrap themselves around their adorable little brains.   Here’s one:

Be sure to check out the other three at the Flu.gov site.

While there, I discovered they also had a fun contest for the best videos to help educate young and old alike and we get to pick the winner. Educational videos were submitted, the best were weeded out, and now we get to pick our choices for best (or worst). My favorite video was Flu Sounds with Chainsaw as a close runner up. I was looking for ones that will hold a person’s attention while teaching them. These two kept my interest and made me laugh. I’ll stop my TIVO for commercials that make me laugh! That’s why I LOVE The Mac vs. IBM commercials!

Flu Sounds did all that AND got their point across very well. Chainsaw also accomplished all that, but most of the educational meat was at the beginning so I gave Flu Sounds the #1 spot in my voting. My least favorites, being a grandma, included Bagman – Kids might not understand it’s not serious and put plastic bags over their own heads, putting themselves at much worse risk from suffocation than from the flu! I also did not care for Hazmat – as I would rate it (on my conservative grandma scale) PG-13 for a bathroom scene and drinking scene.

You can vote for the Swine Flu prevention videos every day between now and September 16^th.  I just voted for ones listed above. Per their directions, “the order of the videos is randomly generated each time you visit the page. Voting is a simple thumbs-up or thumbs-down for each video (at the bottom left of the currently playing video), and you are allowed one vote (up or down) per video per calendar day.” This would be a fun activity to do with our grandkids one or more times during the next few days. They’ll have fun voting AND be learning important health facts while they are at it. As I said above, I would personally avoid Bagman and Hazmat.

Let us know what you voted on and why. We’d love to hear your completely G-rated opinions as well.

And now, I’ll leave you with my two favorite videos from the contest:

Wouldn’t “Tim the Toolman” love that one!

iPods, Mozaics, Sansa Fuzes, Oh My! Whatever mp3 player you use, did you know you can use it as a “virtual library” of audio books and podcasts to help you with your caregiving duties? Thanks to iTunes, it’s relatively easy to subscribe to a variety of podcasts to learn about such topics as dementia, caregiver stress, Parkinson’s Disease, help for the caregiver, and more.

I love to listen to my Nano iPod as I drive to and from my various Sandwich Generation caregiving requirements, stand in long lines, take walks to deal with caregiver stress and even, occasionally, fly cross country. I was thrilled to discover, recently, that my car has a connector jack that gives me one of those great “car mp3 players.” This allows me to share songs and stories from my iPod through the sound system.

I can only hand-carry a couple of books at a time with me, but with my iPod, I can bring the equivalent of 50+ books as well as a smaller hand-picked selection of all my favorite praise and worship songs. And I only have a 4gb iPod! Think what you could do with 80 or more gb like some mp3 players have.

Even before I had an mp3 player, I enjoyed audio books and podcasts by using iTunes on my computer. I downloaded what I wanted onto my computer. Then I either listened to the computer or “burned” a CD of the materials I was interested in and took them with me using a CD player. The mp3 player is a lot easier, though, and over time helps pay its way by not requiring me to keep buying CDs. Not only that, since most of the podcasts I listen to are free, I’ve found it to be a great money saver there as well!

I tend to go whole hog on what I read. In other words, I will go through a period of reading all Christian fiction, all real estate, all science fiction, or all computer geek books. I do the same with the podcasts I listen to. Right now, I am primarily listening to blogging podcasts and enjoying them tremendously. But I also have a list of five interesting podcasts about caregiving that I thought you might enjoy:

• Caregiving – Denise Brown
• Coping With Caregiving – Jacqueline Marcell
• Parkinson’s Disease – PD Talk Live

The following are more of a technical discourse as opposed to the above podcasts which use more of a casual chatting format:

• The Lancet - This covers neurology issues such as Parkinson’s Disease, Alzheimer’s Disease, stroke, etc.
• MUSC Health Podcast Library – a wide variety of elderly ailments,  including Alzheimer’s Disease, Geriatrics, and more are dealt with.