Caregiving

SandwichINK enjoyed being a part of the EldercareABC Blog Carnival last week. You can find my post with several others of interest, on such topics as “Can Seniors Go On Living at Home?,” “Medication Management,” and “Overcoming Loneliness.”

Very Interesting info – Couples have a lower risk of dementia!

Exercise can improve memory in a person suffering from Alzheimer’s.

Getting creative with your senior care is the key. Here are some great tips to help bring out your creativity.

Grandparents

Here are some excellent tips for grandparents to help their grandkids learn about reading!

For those of you who have autistic grandkids, here are two very helpful and interesting articles:

• Technology and Autism
• Protecting Your Autistic Child

Sandwich Generation:

Tech – For Business and Pleasure

• For all you Sandwich Generation Photoshop Geeks, here’s an interesting collection of Glow and Light Effect Tutorials in Photoshop:
• Remember yesterday’s post about my computer driving me crazy? I really appreciated the cute videos at Sugar Pine Realty!   They gave my senior mom and me a good laugh!

Family Friday at @HomemakerBarbi has an interesting post, Family Vacation Road Trip Planning: Breaks & Stops. Great ideas for a multi-generation vacation with your family.

Family Doctor Mag has some great Twitter health links.

If you or someone you care for is dealing with chronic illness, you’ll be interested to know that Rest Ministries announced the opening of their new bookstore.

WOW! Scientists have developed a mind-controlled wheelchair.

Have you ever thought of retiring overseas?

Do you struggle with when and how to intervene in an aging parent’s decisions? Do you wonder what someone in the midst of dementia is experiencing? Are you feeling like you’re at the end of your rope? The brand new Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use is out and it has fascinating articles dealing with all of these questions.

Perhaps you are not at these difficult stages. Your questions might include: How do I stretch my IRA? What kind of legacy am I leaving? Or What does that pain in my chest mean? (Always best to check with your doctor ASAP for that question, but you could take a print out of the article to read while you wait). Boomers & Seniors has articles covering those subjects as well!

Of course, grandkids and the Baby Boomer Generation are well covered too, including an article by SandwichINK.

I’ve been a part of the Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use Blog Carnival since early in January – right around when they started. Gina LaGuardia of Seniors for Living , who began it and keeps it organized, has done a great job with it and each issue just gets better and better!

I’m going to let you go read it now, and I’ll join you.  Hmmm, I think I’ll start with the list of the top 100 Dr. Bloggers. Or maybe I’ll go find out what fruit juice is best to help prevent Alzheimer’s Disease.…

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that,

A North Carolina woman reportedly dumped an elderly relative at a shelter in Bradenton on the way to Walt Disney World. Beverly Edwards is said to have dropped her aunt, Ruth Smith, at a Salvation Army homeless shelter Sunday evening — while indicating that she would not be returning to pick up the 96-year-old. Edwards, who told staff at the shelter that she could no longer care for the elderly woman…

Shocking and sad news that has left many asking, “Why?” At first glance it is so easy for us to pass judgment on this family. “How dare they do this to that sweet old lady?” However, it is important for us to stop and think it through.

For one thing, we need to remember that just because something is in the newspaper it isn’t necessarily totally true or accurate. We can probably all think of one or two important news stories in the past year or so where the facts proved that the reporters embellished or just plain made up all or part of the story.

I saw that in action 20 years ago when the church I was attending bought a quaint old building for their church home. Because of the uniqueness of the building, more newspaper stories were written about our church move than the norm. It was fascinating reading those articles as an “insider.” Names, dates, and activities – you name it, there were plenty of things that needed correcting!

I learned from that to take everything I read with a grain of salt and to find plenty of corroborating information before believing a lot of that. One of my goals for SandwichINK is to verify information as much as possible before sharing it, even when I’m just passing on links And if you ever find something here that needs correcting, do let me know. I appreciate the “extra eyes.”

Another side of this multi-faceted story is the sweet old lady. I am blessed with several senior citizens in my life and they are all wonderful and truly sweet. I have known some elderly people, though, who are anything but sweet. Not only that, dementia or heavy doses of necessary medications can turn a sweet adult into someone no one would want to be around. I saw that happen to a dear friend of mine.  For two weeks I thought I would never have my friend back again. Then the doctor finally found a medication that she could tolerate and it was like night and day. She was once again sweet and caring, and I can’t tell you how happy I was!

For many families dealing with a patient who is in the fog of dementia, they may never see their beloved get better. It only gets worse. Dealing with an elderly parent with dementia year after year is so very difficult, physically and emotionally. My parents cared for an elderly aunt for several years. I have always had the greatest admiration for them and the wonderful attitude they had in dealing with her. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t perfect. They got discouraged, frustrated, and depressed. But they kept on going, and set an example for me that I continue to strive to copy to this day. As a teenager, I’m afraid I wasn’t that much help to them then. I’m grateful I got a second chance with them and am happy to report I’m doing much better, though I’m not perfect either. Not by a long shot! Come to think of it, no one is, except our precious Lord Jesus! 

We don’t know much about this family. We don’t know if they were struggling with their circumstances, if they were feeling alone and depressed, if the aunt was in more need than they could provide, or if they really were as heartless as the newspaper reports make them appear.

What we do know and what I would encourage you to think about today, is that caregivers need to be proactive about taking steps to avoid burnout. For the sake of the patient AND for the sake of the caregiver.

It’s important for each of us to make sure we build a network of people who can help us in our elder care-giving journey. Relatives, friends, and people from our church can all do little things that can help make our burden lighter if we let them. I was so blessed when my dad was on hospice. My daughters and sons-in-law all helped wonderfully. They ran errands, helped with giving medications, and even took turns spending the night when we needed extra assistance.

Not everyone has extended family close by and it is sometimes hard to build and maintain relationships when your caregiving duties are keeping you extremely busy. This is especially true for the Sandwich Generation! Often we are dealing with the care of our elderly parents AND with kids or grandkids AND with work AND with spouses… It can really be overwhelming.

I always encourage people to start with their church home. Many of the larger churches have a full-on senior citizen ministry. Some offer help for repairs around the house as a ministry to the elderly. If money is extra tight due to all the added medical bills, they might even be able to help out with canned goods or a small grant.

Senior citizen nonprofit groups can be found in many cities. They, too, can be a great resource to help families. In this economy, it is getting harder. There may be more forms and longer waits. It can be worth it though. It’s certainly worth checking into.

Meals on Wheels can be a wonderful help to both the elderly parent and the Senior caregiver. They provide a full and healthy meal once a day and the cost is very low. If money is an issue, there may even be an option for a grant. Many aging parents are eating less and find that one meal fills them up twice a day. Not only that, if your aging parent lives alone, it gives you the comfort of knowing someone else is checking on them once a day.

The internet certainly is a big help in providing friends for caregivers who can’t get out very much. There are many excellent sites who specialize in helping caregivers with counseling, resources, and links to other great info. You can find many great resources here at SandwichINK, starting with yesterday’s Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival.

Make sure you are taking good care of yourself physically and emotionally! Walking daily can be a great way to exercise, as well as lower your cholesterol, blood pressure, and stress levels. Prayer and meditation has been proven to be very helpful at keeping stress at bay. God is good and His Word is overflowing with His love, comfort and promises. Chewing on a verse or two daily can really help drive away anger, fear, and depression.

Caregiving is not the easiest job in the world. It can, however, be extremely rewarding. Just be sure that you are getting plenty of help, availing yourself of the resources that are out there, and taking good care of yourself, so that you can keep taking good care of your beloved elderly parents. And when you’re praying and meditating on God’s Word, pray for the family in the newspaper and for caregivers everywhere. We can always use extra prayer! 

Swine Flu Updates for Caregivers:

It’s going to be very important for caregivers to monitor the Swine Flu situation. WHO (World Health Organization) raised the pandemic flu alert level to 4 .

Grandkids and Grandparents:

For all those who are helping with homeschooled grandkids, you’ll find this quite interesting – 10 Homeschooled Celebrities .

Here’s a great list of car contests . Wouldn’t it be fun to enter them together with an older grandkid ? Bet they’d think you were the best grandparent in the world!

If your grandkids are more into dollhouses, there’s a fun project for them as well at Grandma Wren’s .

Eldercare:

Five Tips for Preparing a Traditional Eulogy . Good advice from @cemeteryspot. In addition to his great ideas, I like to share their favorite Bible verses, hymns, etc.

What it means When Someone With Dementia Says “I Want to Go Home ” Thank you to @caring4seniors.

Caregiving.com has several podcasts of interest to caregivers including “Cooking with Mom “–tips on how to make cooking a caregiving activity to enjoy.

Pesticide exposure Found To Increase Risk Of Parkinson’s Disease .

Are you interested in HBO’s, “The Alzheimer’s Project ” but don’t get HBO? Alzheimer’s Reading Room has a great solution for you – a free copy of “The Alzheimer’s Project. ”

Alzheimer’s Disease – This article, with facts and figures about this disease, includes the 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease . Thanks to @ alzheimers98 .

Encouragement:

The Lord God is my strength.

General Interest:

How many of you enjoyed the movie, The Sound of Music ? Here’s an interesting interview with one of the real Von Trapp kids, Maria von Trapp, talking about her new book, My Favorite Songs . Thanks to @ ActiveGeezering :

Bible Money Matters has an excellent article on what types of insurance we should have.

If you or an aging parent need help buying a new toilet, Terry Love’s Consumer Toilet Reports is the BEST site I’ve ever seen on that subject. I’ve used his site as a resource several times. He has reviews, recommendations, and a great forum with even more information and help

AARP – As a member of the Sandwich Generation and a Baby Boomer I qualified for AARP a couple of years or so ago. I wasn’t thrilled to know I was old enough for it, until I discovered that my optometrist gives a generous discount for AARP members AND Borders gives a great discount off all books to AARP members. Now I’m thrilled I qualify! 

Finally, as a special gift to all my fellow Sandwich Generation caregivers , I am ending this post with a big smile. Take a look at these photos. They were taken for a special event,  Extreme Grooming of Poodles – The dogs have been groomed into camels, Clydesdales, and more! That’s what you call a different kind of caregiving!

Hello to all of you in the Sandwich Generation. It’s time, again, to check out the resources I discovered for you this week at Twitter. Some are dealing with caregiving, some with grandparenting, some with tech info, and some are just plain random. For instance, did you know Marinara simply means ‘sailors style?’ Spanish sailors brought tomatoes to Europe in the 1500s. I personally had no idea that was the case.  Thank you for that interesting tidbit to my wonderful food resource @Foodimentary.

Here’s another reminder that this coming Wednesday is April 15 – tax day. Or if you’re like me, the deadline for filing a tax extension. If you or your aging parents haven’t sent your taxes in yet, and you are mailing them, be sure to get proof of the date of mailing from the post office. It will cost a little extra but it can save a LOT more than that. One year I mailed my tax payment in a week early. Two months later I got a notice it had been sent late and I had to pay a penalty of $25. I had no proof of when I mailed it, so I just had to pay it and was grateful it wasn’t much because I hadn’t owed much. I believe that the more you owe, the higher the late payment penalty is. So make sure you have proof of mailing, just in case.

Here are some encouraging words: When we, as Christians, die, we will discover that this world “has only been the cover and the title page.” In heaven, we will begin “Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.” C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

“Midlife lesson I’ve learned: Donate some smiles today to the needy.” By @PerrieMenoPudge

WARNING: Even before I started blogging, I was always signing up for emails from sites that interested me. Sometimes two – four per day. Now I probably do three to four times that amount. Either way, it can sometimes be hard to keep track of them. Today I got an email asking me to confirm my request for a requested subscription. It was from the type of site that would have some interest to me. The only problem was, I hadn’t visited that type of site today. So even if I’d forgotten the name, I should have remembered the type (i.e. mommy blogger). Instead of clicking OK like I normally do, I copied the URL and pasted it into a window. I am so glad I did that! It was total spam. Probably my antivirus software would have protected me from any nefarious internet critters but still, it’s better to be safe than sorry! The moral of the story is, if you don’t know the name of an email asking for confirmation, tread carefully! It could be a fake!

Terrific laugh for today from one of my favorite sites, Knitting Doc .

I just discovered The Comfort Connection . This is an interesting site that has wonderful and caring gifts of sympathy for those who want a different way to express their thoughts.

Heart At Home has an article with 17 GREAT frugal tips !  Most of these were new to me and so good I am definitely saving them!

Do you like to use country clipart? One of my favorite sites is Prim Country Classics by Trina & Friends. The pictures are so cute, the prices are extremely reasonable, and the policies are the best I’ve seen! I use them for emails, letters, and fun grandkid projects.

The New York Times had an interesting and informative article for the Sandwich Generation, How to Make a Better Sandwich .

Caregiving.com has a great article about an upcoming special on HBO,  “The Alzheimer’s Project ” airing May 10-12.

More kids are now having to take diabetes and blood pressure medications .

Parentgiving has an excellent article for caregivers on how to help elderly parents manage swallowing problems.

Would you like some fun Contests & Giveaways. Moomette’s Magnificents has a whole page of fun.

“Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust.” I thought this was such a good quote for caregivers! Thank you @LearnSolMary

Here’s an interesting article, Cost Effective Prosthesis for Landmine Victims , at VP Medical.

Kids bring joy to Alzheimer’s and Dementia Sufferer’s from Alzheimer’s Reading Room.

Yummy – I just discovered a delicious AND healthy cooking site, A Veggie Venture . We tried out their green bean casserole and it was delicious!

Finally, for those of you who are also on Twitter, here are some great resources for caregiving:  @ caregiving @ Seniors4Living @ daccarte @ natalietm @ Meals_on_Wheels Also, if you think there might be problems with Twitter, be sure to check out their Status updates .

One of my dear friends started developing severe memory loss when she turned 85. In the course of that, she also became severely ill and had to go to the hospital. After three days in the hospital, she wasn’t just forgetting things. She had developed full dementia. She didn’t recognize me at all, even though we were very close. When I walked in to visit her she was having a tea party with three other imaginary friends. Fortunately, her brother-in-law had quite a bit of experience taking care of older relatives. He did his homework and followed up with the doctors. They discovered it wasn’t what a staff person told me, that “old people often totally lose it when they go into the hospital.” Instead it turned out it was caused by the combination of two of her medications. As soon as they adjusted her medication, she was back to normal. Very forgetful, but she knew me again!

Sadly, that can still happen today. It’s just as vital for us to do our own homework and follow up with doctors for all the medications our beloveds take, not to mention what we take. I have a great resource for you that Alzheimer’s Reading Room wrote about. I want to encourage any of you with aged parents, relatives, and friends to head over there and read today’s article. Then click on that link and print out and save the two lists of 136 Drugs that can cause cognitive impairment . It’s only going to be available to non-subscribers for a few days, until April 7. I’m familiar with the site, and think that it is vital information for all of us. I would suggest that you print that list and take it with you whenever you go to the doctor, or take an aged parent to the doctor. Discuss with the doctor the list along with any other drugs s/he is prescribing that isn’t on the list, the possible ramifications, and all the possible side effects of any new drug and of the impact a new drug will have on other drugs AND non-drug pills, like vitamins, that you or they are taking.

It’s not fun watching a beloved aged parent drift away into dementia and hallucinations. Sometimes we don’t get a choice. When we do have the choice, though, it’s a blessing to them as well as to us. A big THANK YOU to Alzheimer’s Reading Room and the creators of the list for a big help to all of us.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! It’s a perfect day for us to head for a carnival. What’s that? Is it raining or snowing where you live? No worries. Our carnival is right here on the internet.

At the carnival you’ll find all sorts of information specific to Baby Boomers and Senior Citizens. You’ll find things to help you, to help your elderly relatives, and more. Let’s take a peek:

Michelle Seitzer of Seniors for Living has written a very interesting and timely article on the new stimulus package and how it will affect our elderly parents. There are good things to be found in the package, including a rebate that does NOT need any paperwork to be filed. Sadly, there are negative things in the package as well including some unpleasant changes to Medicare.

My Wealth Builder has an interesting article on going back to school when you are older. I never quit school until two years ago. That’s when I FINALLY finished my A.A. in Real Estate in my 50s! It was a great feeling. Right now, I’m busy learning a ton on the internet as I work on building this and other websites. Eventually, in my 60s or 70s, I may decide to go back for my B.A. if they’ll give me a senior discount.

If you love to travel, check out Donna Hull’s travel site, MyItchyFeet. She has excellent advice for the carnival on visiting your local travel clinic before going overseas. After you finish that article do a bit more exploring. You’ll find interesting travel stories and great pictures. My favorite is the cottage with the grass growing from the roof!

Dale Carter posted an article that I would recommend bookmarking for an excellent resource. It explains more about Alzheimer’s Disease, dementia symptoms, and how to help an aging parent who is suffering from dementia.

These are just a few of the many articles you can find at Seniors For Living . Other topics include Senior Care and Caregiving, Senior and Boomer Trends, Financial Issues, Health, and Wellness. So let’s all head on over and do some visiting and even leave some comments. As a matter of fact, I’d love it if you’d say a cheery green "Top O’ The Evening" in the comments below.

I’m starting today’s resource list with an important reminder. When you set your clocks forward tonight, don’t forget to change the batteries in your smoke and fire detectors. While you’re at it, make sure you go change them in your elderly parent’s detectors as well, or give them a buzz to remind them to do it.

Did you ever use Yahoo Briefcase to store files online? They closed on March 30, 2009.

Another excellent verse for all of us multi-generational caregivers!  The people who know their God will display strength and take action.

I have a Mileage Plus credit card with Capital One. I find them to be easy to work with and wonderfully proactive at making sure my credit (and their credit card) stays safe! In fact, a few weeks ago I dropped my card without realizing it. They called me later that day about some strange charges. Sure enough, someone had found it and immediately started using it. I was really appreciative they caught it so quickly so I didn’t have more headaches to deal with! This past week, I enjoyed reading Consumer Boomer’s great article about Capital One along with their 10 helpful tips to prevent ID theft. These would be good tips to review with your elderly parents. They are also excellent to share with older grandkids when you’re sitting on the pier fishing or out taking a walk together.

I appreciated the suggestions in this article by Senior Support regarding eldercare dignity while eating, etc.

Rebuild Your Back had some good information on Sciatica back pain. We’ve had to deal with a bit of that ourselves after our move. It’s no fun! This puts to rest some popular myths and adds a couple of tips.

Do you have a child, or even a grandchild, getting married this spring or summer. You’ll be thrilled to hear that there’s a movement afoot, in this tough economy, to strive for more frugal weddings. Here’s an excellent article from Shoestring Magazine to help with the brainstorming for that. “Dream Weddings in Downturn: Embrace yr inner tightwad.”

Encouragement – The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their cry.

Dementia: It’s not always Alzheimer’s. MSN has an excellent article discussing various causes and types of dementia.

Police: Live Oak Man Sold Meth in Canes When my four grandkids on one coast or five grandkids on the other coast get sick, they all seem to get sick at once. Moms and Dads also get it and no one wants to have to run to the store when they’re sick. Unfortunately, due to drug dealers misusing the ingredients in various cold medicines, it can be a royal pain in the neck to buy the medications, and to buy enough for a big family. Now there’s news out that they are hiding drugs in canes! Do you think we’ll have to start showing our ID to buy canes and find that they are also being rationed!!!! It’s funny, but in a rather sad and irritating way!

Encouragement – He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.

And finally, if your elderly parent is thinking of a retirement center, here’s an interesting option. You can now buy a retirement condo on a cruise ship. “For less money than many senior independent-living facilities charge, retirees may now live on a cruise ship. Prices for individual condo cabins on the 300-foot Algeria range from $159,000 for a single room to a larger suite for $399,000 plus a nominal “Resident’s Care” monthly fee which covers all the operating expenses of the ship including crew, staff, fuel, maintenance, insurance, three meals daily, port fees, the medical center, and housekeeping. A huge difference between a senior care facility and living on Algeria is that the residents actually own the ship.” WOW! I wish I didn’t get seasick! 

Research is something I love and do well at. I inherited that love for learning from my mom and have passed it on to all my daughters. Now it comes back as a blessing to me even more, when they discover something useful to share with me, just as my mom and I have done for years. One of those things a daughter shared was an excellent book for families dealing with a loved one who is seriously ill.

“The Complete Bedside Companion” by Rodger McFarlane and Philip Bashe is not light reading. After my daughter told me about it, I immediately ordered a copy from Amazon. It arrived today and my first thought was, “Oooh, I can’t wait to sit down and read it.” But as I thumbed through it, I realized it really isn’t that kind of book. Or maybe I should say, it’s that kind of book and so much more! Basically, it is an encyclopedia for people who are going through difficult times with serious medical illnesses, or who may even be on hospice. I wish I’d had it when my dad was so ill, and again to help a friend who recently lost his wife! To give you a hint of what it contains, here are the primary titles from the table of contents:

Part 1: Caring for the Sick

• The Hospital & The Medical Team: Who’s Who and What’s What
• Dealing with the Doctors
• The Everyday Angel’s Cram Course in Essential Nursing Skills
• Matters of the Heart
• Mustering the Troops
• The Caregiver as Consumer Activist
• Care for the Caregivers
• Paying the Bills
• Preparing for the Worst
• Journey’s End
• Aftermath

Part 2: The Everyday’s Angel’s Cram Course in Adult Medicine

• Caring for Someone with Cancer
• Caring for Someone with Cardiovascular Disease
• Caring for Someone with Cerebrovascular Stroke or Traumatic Brain Injury
• Caring for Someone with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (Emphysema and Chronic Bronchitis)
• Caring for Someone with Diabetes
• Caring for Someone with AIDS/HIV
• Caring for Someone with Liver Disease
• Caring for Someone with Kidney Disease
• Caring for Someone with a Progressive Neurological Disease

For more specific details of what it contains, you can go to Amazon and look at the Table of Contents. Under each of the above topics, you will find five – ten subtitles! The Complete Bedside Companion: A No-Nonsense Guide to Caring for the Seriously Ill

The book is well written, well documented, and often uses personal stories intermixed with the dryer medical factual information. It’s much more interesting than a Merck Manual, though I love that book as well. It goes into the broad strokes of major diseases and the nitty gritty details of a wide variety of things such as how to clean patients after they’ve gone to the bathroom in the bed, or helping to toilet a loved one who suffers from memory loss, confusion, or intellectual impairment.  It has hints and tips given by caregivers going through the actual experience, giving advice on how to coordinate help from other family members, or suggesting that you change the voicemail message daily with a health update so you don’t have to say the same thing over and over.

The book is copyrighted 1999 and I would imagine some medical practices may have changed. As with any resource, it’s still vital to ask plenty of questions and go with what your doctor recommends. But this gives plenty of information that will probably never go out of date.

I am going to be adding this to my list of MUST-RECOMMEND books for anyone going through major health crises, and I highly recommend it to all who are or think they will be caregivers including those of us in the Sandwich Generation.