Schedules are crammed – especially for those of us in the Sandwich Generation . We may be juggling schedules for two, three, or more people as we care for our beloved family – parents, kids, grandkids. In spite of that, I have found that it is invaluable of us to make every effort to go to the doctor, optometrist, dentist, and other appointments with our aging parents. I know it’s hard but there are at least three excellent reasons to do so:

1. RETENTION – In general, our beloved elders may only retain about 30-40% of what they are told . Probably even less than that if they are especially nervous about going to the doctors. We will most likely retain more than that and if we take notes, our combined information retention should be very high.

2. SERIOUSLY – We are likely to find that many doctors, nurses, etc. will take the two of us more seriously than if our elder had gone alone . I don’t know if it is due to a heightened sense of accountability, age bias, or what, but I have really noticed a difference. I’ve also found similar stories when talking to various friends.

3. BAD NEWS – If ever there is bad news given, our being there will be a tremendous blessing . Even when there is no bad news, having us there often makes them feel more comfortable.

Yes, it’s hard to add another appointment (or six) to our already overburdened caregiving calendars. However, those of us who are Baby Boomer Generation caregivers have gotten used to juggling. In the long run, we will be definitely be glad we fit these appointments in as well.

What is your favorite season? Mine is Autumn. It officially starts tomorrow and I can’t wait! I love the cool crisp days and nights. I love the crunchy leaves. I love the sights and sounds and fun times. I love decorating for Harvest Time. I loved it as a newlywed. I loved it when my kids were young. And I love it as a Baby Boomer Generation caregiver. I just plain love Autumn.

I am thrilled that my grandkids all love it as well! Sharing our traditions with them and learning the new traditions they have started is all part of the heritage we are creating for our families.

When my children were young, we collected leaves and put them around the house while singing fall songs together. These were songs I had made up and set to Christmas song tunes.

Some of that has changed – we don’t usually bring the leaves into the house anymore (I have developed allergies). But we love to crunch in them outside and watch as the wind swirls them around for a lovely “Autumn Ballet.” I love to share that imagery with my long-distance grandkids as we enjoy talking about the leaves dancing outside.

When we are discussing our “Autumn Ballet,” it is a great time to talk about God. It provides a powerful picture of Him and how He works in our lives. We may not be able to see the wind, but we see it ruffling the leaves in the trees, carrying them around in the air and skittering them around on the ground. We may not be able to see God, but we see His power at work in our lives when we pray and He answers, when we see Him protect us from an accident on the freeway, and when we read His Word and see it apply directly to our lives.

It’s fun finding autumn pictures for all the grandkids to enjoy coloring and decorating. I keep a close watch on Target’s $1 bin and the local Dollar stores for fun projects for Autumn, Thanksgiving, and harvest time. Last year Target had turkey sticker projects, autumn picture frames to decorate, and Pin the Tail on the Turkey games. Needless to say, I scooped up plenty for all my grandkids. We can incorporate them in their home schooling program, as well as just having fun. These are memories we can all share and enjoy, right now and as they grow older.

Here are some Autumn Coloring Pages Fun for you to share with your grandkids. On a PC, you can right click on each picture, select COPY. Then open a program such as Word and select EDIT, PASTE. You can change the size by selecting the picture, press on the CTRL key with your left hand while pressing the left mouse key, and dragging. This will increase the size proportionally.

Caregiving is highlighted by special moments. Whether you are caring for an elderly loved one, a sweet grandchild, a dear friend who is ill, or in the case of those of us of the Sandwich Generation, two or more of these, you may find periods of your life when you have long stretches of mundane, frustrating, irritating, and/or boring punctuated by wondrous, special, illuminated moments.

Both young and old may require assistance with diapers or depends and all the sights and smells that go with that. Both young and old are susceptible to crankiness due to illness, medication, lack of sleep, not feeling well. Both young and old, depending on their health situation, can require frantic trips in an ambulance or car to get to the hospital, then long stretches sitting and waiting to be seen, with even longer stretches of time in the hospital until they are released.

And you, the caregiver, will be right there with them through all of these situations. Often you are also tired, cranky, not feeling well, and scared. But you are the one who has to be strong for them, that they may draw from your strength. You are the one who has to stay calm, focused, clearheaded as you fill out the paperwork, answer all the questions, and make the hard decisions.

It’s not easy! I personally think it is one of the hardest jobs in the world – and usually unpaid. But it can also be one of the most rewarding, with special thanks to those highlighted moments in time!

• Those moments when a grandchild calls you on the phone to share something exciting that just happened.
• Those moments when an elderly loved one’s medicine change finally kicks in, she finally recognizes you and, instead of getting mad at you for trying to help her, she can again say, “I love you.”
• Those moments when the nurse says to you, “You are doing such a great job. Your great-aunt tells me all the time that she doesn’t know what she would do without you.
• Those moments when your son tells you, “Thank you so much for your prayers, mom. The baby’s fever is down to normal and they can send her home from the hospital tomorrow.
• Those moments when your adorable grandchild, who threw up on you earlier in the evening, gives you a big hug and kiss and says, “I wuv you, Grandma.”
• Those moments when God reminds you that you are doing this for Him and He will get you through it all.

As we keep walking through the tough times, and are blessed by the sweet times, let’s cling to God, and walk in His love, His light, and His gifts of these moments of joy.

For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:7-8

DID YOU KNOW? Amazon has a Christian Book “Store”. It is NOT easy to find. It’s not listed with their regular stores. It’s not listed in their menus. But it’s there. It pops up as an option every so often and now it’s URL will be on this blog for you to learn about and us to never lose again!

http://www.amazon.com/Christianity-Religion-Spirituality-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=12290  

As caregivers, we don’t always have the luxury of time to run to a Christian bookstore. Amazon has always saved the day for me, if I knew the title, but sometimes I just want to browse. Now that I know where to find their Christian bookstore, I can browse at home in between making chicken soup and changing diapers. And you can too! Enjoy!

The worship music at my church is one of the highlights for me each Sunday. I love singing to praise God and am so blessed as I do it. I hope and pray I am a blessing to Him as well! Fortunately, as most of us know well, the Psalms say to make a joyful noise – I can handle that! My rhythm is a bit off, so I can’t sing and clap at the same time. But that’s ok. I just sway and tap my toes and praise my Holy God with great joy!

I love hymns and I love contemporary praise and worship. Being a bit on the hyper side, I have a decided preference for songs with a happy lilt to them.

Today we were blessed by Chris Tomlin’s song “Everlasting God.” The song is based on Isaiah 40:28-31. As a caregiver, I have many times read and reread this passage:

Do you not know?

       Have you not heard?

       The LORD is the everlasting God,

       the Creator of the ends of the earth.

       He will not grow tired or weary,

       and his understanding no one can fathom.

 He gives strength to the weary

       and increases the power of the weak.

 Even youths grow tired and weary,

       and young men stumble and fall;

 but those who hope in the LORD

       will renew their strength.

       They will soar on wings like eagles;

       they will run and not grow weary,

       they will walk and not be faint.

It is such a blessing to me to know that I can keep entrusting myself to God and He will keep me going, when I am exhausted, when I have too much to do, and even on those days when I feel like running away.

I am so grateful to God for the gift of His Word and for the gift of music to remind me of His Word! How about you? What are some of your favorite praise and worship songs that encourage you as you bless others with your gift of caring for them?

I subscribe to a lot of email newsletters covering a myriad of topics. Periodically, I plan to do articles with brief Synopses (Site Seeing, if you will) of some of them to pass on snippets of useful information along with their links so you can read the whole shebang if you are interested.

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First Aid Dos and Don’ts

Newsweek has an article entitled, “Top 10 First Aid Mistakes,” which can be found at http://www.newsweek.com/id/132001?tid=relatedcl  These range from nosebleeds to being impaled! I have to admit, I learned some new tricks in reading this article. Very handy information to have whether you are caregiving for little ones, elders, or for yourself.

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Crocs aren’t just for looks!

While waiting for a doctor appointment, we were looking over the magazines in the waiting room. We found a funny article disparaging the people who had written in about the first article this gentleman wrote disparaging crocs. Now I have to tell you, I don’t wear crocs. I have arthritis in my feet and I live in my Nike tennis shoes. They may not be the most fashionable, but my feet don’t hurt the way they used to.  However, some of my favorite people LOVE their Crocs. Two of them swear they help their toe issues (Mallet Toes and Hammertoes). After reading this article, I decided to do a little research. Turns out it isn’t just my friends’ imagination. They really can be more than just comfy.

Lyndon V. Hanson, III, vice president of Crocs explains that, “Crocs are certified by the U.S. Ergonomics Council and the American Podiatric Medical Association…These shoes were designed specifically to eliminate plantar pain and achy feet,” says Hanson. “They also help people with injured feet, bunions, and diabetes. You’ve got a lot of inner support, heel cups and massaging heel nubs, and arch support. They’re ideal for people with foot problems.” You can read the whole article at http://diabetes.webmd.com/features/crocs-healthy-shoes-just-comfy

The Washington Post has another article on what a variety of doctors think about them – http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/31/AR2006073100890.html

Then again, you could just walk into any store and ask someone. I’ll bet you’ll find plenty of people who want to rave about them.

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Colon Cancer Surgery Screenings

If you or your loved ones have had colon cancer and surgery, make sure to get all the screenings that are required. The Chicago Tribune points out that “Only about 40 percent of the 4,426 older patients in the study got all the doctor visits, blood tests and the colonoscopy advised in the three years after cancer surgery, according to the results released Monday by the journal Cancer.” http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/health/chi-colon-cancersep08,0,6643725.story

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Grand-Parenting

If you provide extra care for one or more grandchild or have them living with you, you have lots of company. Here are some facts and figures from the U.S. Census Department:

6.1 million – The number of grandparents whose grandchildren younger than 18 live with them.

2.5 million – The number of grandparents responsible for most of the basic needs (i.e., food, shelter, clothing) of one or more of the grandchildren who live with them. These grandparents represent about 40 percent of all grandparents whose grandchildren live with them. Of these caregivers, 1.6 million are grandmothers, and 896,000 are grandfathers.

1.7 million – The number of grandparent-caregivers who are married.

1.4 million – The number of grandparents who are in the labor force and also responsible for most of the basic needs of their grandchildren.

918,000 – Number of grandparents responsible for caring for their grandchildren for at least the past five years.

730,000 – Number of grandparents with a disability who are caring for their grandchildren.

30% – Among children younger than 5 whose mothers worked outside the home, the percentage cared for on a regular basis by a grandparent during their mother’s working hours. Grandparents and fathers were the two biggest sources of child care by relatives when mothers went to work.

Sounds like God is using a lot of us in some GRAND ways!

There is a wonderful service out there to help all of us who don’t have perfect memories! That is DEFNITELY me! It is called Jott. It offers quite a bit, but I personally only use it for one thing. I call their 800 phone number using my speed dial 6. When the recording asks me who I want to Jott, I say “myself.” I then have 15 seconds to leave a voice mail of whatever it is I need to remember. It then sends my message to my email and it is waiting for me when I get to my computer. Plus I am now able to have a copy sent to my cell phone as well. Fantastic!

 I was privileged to be a beta tester for the last year for free. That time has come to an end and they are now charging. It is STILL well worth it!!!  The subscription prices are Free for Jott Basic (this is ad-supported but no email is sent to your box – you have to go to their website daily. With my memory, I figured I might not always remember to do that J), $3.95 per month for Jott and $12.95 for Jott Pro. Following this article is a chart to show exactly what you get for those fees.

My average time for messages I leave is 17 seconds so I opted for the $3.95 plan which my budget preferred as well. As you can see, I have a lot of other options available to me and I am definitely going to have to look closer at them. But even if I never use them, I still LOVE JOTT! It’s like having my own personal secretary!

In case you are wondering why I need it or how I use it, I will give you some examples from the last few days. Today we were at the dermatologist’s office. They told me to make a new appointment in three months. I called Jott and when I got home was immediately reminded of it. I wrote it down as well, but sometimes those little notes get misplaced so I definitely appreciate getting that Jott.  Yesterday I sent a Jott to remind myself of the great Christmas present idea I had thought up for one set of grandkids. I also sent a Jott to look up an item I heard about on the news that I wanted to research more.  And, of course, I have often Jotted writing ideas for this blog and other writing projects. When a loved one was sick and I couldn’t get home for long periods of time, Jott was invaluable to me to capture fragments of thoughts before they disappeared due to worry, exhaustion, and stress.

My Jott notes are always in my computer and I can even do a search when I need to find one. Plus, if I were to have a computer crash OR be traveling, I have the added backup of being able to go to Jott’s website to go through my old notes.

One caveat to all this is that I would never recommend Jotting anything confidential. For that matter, I don’t recommend emailing anything confidential or giving confidential information over a cell phone or a cordless phone. Any of these methods have a slight element of risk due to the possibility of someone being able to listen in. Therefore I would not give out social security numbers, driver’s licenses, etc. I do have one credit card I comfortably use but I monitor it closely as does the credit card company themselves. But that is not to say I have a concern with Jott. It is just a fact of life in our world.

Overall though, Jott can be a great time saver and stress reliever and I highly recommend it! You can find them at www.Jott.com . They also have a blog with more information at http://jott.com/jotters/ . If you do sign up with them and try some of the other options available, I’d love to hear what you think of them! Just leave a comment (below) or send an email to Kaye@SandwichINK.com .

No long term contracts. Change your plan or cancel at any time.

Merck is very well known for their medical manuals. I have two fat paperbacks by them in my bookcase. They are wonderful when we have a mystery ailment that needs “diagnosing.” One is “The Merck Manual of Medical Information” which covers pretty much every symptom I’ve ever come across. The other is “The Merck Manual of Health & Aging.” As they put it in their title, it is “The comprehensive guide to the changes and challenges of aging-for older adults and those who care for and about them.” That pretty much covers most of us here at www.sandwichink.com .

As much as I appreciate their hard-copy books, I also very much like their online option. http://www.merck.com/mmhe/index.html is the site for the home edition of the Merck Manual of Medical Information and I have used it many times. The online version is set up a bit different than the book. It includes information not found in the book and it is updated more often than the book. I especially like it when I am traveling, since even the paperback edition of their book is pretty hefty.

All in all, the combination of the hardcopy and the online version of the Merck Manual is an excellent addition to every caregiver’s resource library.

Gas prices are up. Food prices are up. Medicine prices are up. Unemployment is up. And needs haven’t gone away! This economy is a difficult one for anyone, but it’s especially demanding for caregivers. Many times they are not just giving time, they are helping with expenses. So what would be a whammy for a normal family is a double or triple whammy for caregivers! Is there anything that can be done?

Fortunately for us, there are many people out there working on just that situation – in bad times AND good. I thought it might be helpful to tell you about two of my favorites.

I have been a long time subscriber to The Dollar Stretcher.  This free site is found at www.stretcher.com . You’ll be seeing their tips on this blog every few days in the near future. Gary Foreman started this years ago and they have a wonderfully huge site with articles and money-saving tips on every subject imaginable. You can read the articles at the site itself, or do as I have done and sign up to have their free newsletter(s) sent directly to your email. Just to give you an idea of what they write about, here are a few of the titles from this week’s newsletter:

MagicJack – How good can a free phone service be?

Game Room On a Dime – Create a place to mold memories and relationships within your family

My Story – 12 tips for surviving emergencies

Ancient Financial Wisdom – 5 strategies from King Solomon

Cooking for Less! – Using inexpensive ingredients

Storing Veggies for Freshness – Reduce the waste of spoiled produce

He offers 13 different newsletters (all free), that include the titles, “Bright Kids,” “The Computer Lady,” “Healthy Foods,” “Simple Times,” and more. You’ll find the signup page for these at http://www.stretcher.com/subscribe/subscribeDS.cfm .

Another of my favorite sites is called RefundCents.com. It’s appropriately named as it originally started as a refunding magazine, and it definitely makes cents AND sense AND even dollars! It’s expanded from its original premise to become both a print magazine and an online subscription with all sorts of wonderful information that can not only save you money but even make you some money.

It’s not a free site (though they do offer a free newsletter that gives you a flavor of what they offer), but I have been subscribing for years and always save enough to more than pay for my subscription!  

Michelle Easter is the wonderful woman who runs this site and she has it set up in a very organized fashion. The two most valuable parts to me include “Centsible Chat” which is a forum that allows subscribers to write in continually throughout the day with any and all great deals they find and “Michelle’s Updates” which is where Michelle puts the cream of the crop from the Centsible Chat forum along with any great deals she’s come up with. This can range from double coupons at a store to fantastic sales at Target and Walmart to unbelievable discounts at a department store to freebies being offered….  When I am short on time, that’s the first place I head. Sometimes it’s the only place I get to, but it is well worth the trip!

And that’s not all! There is a regular column listing all the coupons out for each week. Another column tallies up all the sales and rebates at Rite Aid, CVS, and Walgreen, links them up with any coupons, and gives you a nice neat list of what the best deals are at each store.

She has information on Cheapo Weddings, Diaper Diva Deals, and also still covers everything you ever wanted to know about grocery couponing, refunds and rebates!

The print magazine subscription is $8 for 3 months which includes online access, or $25 for 1 year, also with online access OR you can subscribe to just the online option (which is what I have) for $12 per year. If you are interested in signing up, just click on http://refundcents.com/subscriptions.htm?RefID=FMNC .

Yes, prices are going up! But with the help of The Dollar Stretcher and Refund Cents, we can at least start putting the brakes on!

Do you have a neighbor who has been rushed to the hospital? Or one who has just been moved to a care facility? Or do you, perhaps, have one who has become confined to their bed? Are you wanting to help but don’t know how or what to do? Welcome to my world! Been there, done that more than once. Even with experience under the belt, it’s still never easy!  And that’s OK. Little in life is easy. But that being said, there are some basic things that seem to be true in most if not all cases and here are some I’ve discovered:

1.     Pray – and keep praying! Once the first three days are over, it’s easy for our own lives to take over and cause us to forget this vital step. If you need help remembering, use an erasable marker to write a reminder to yourself on the bathroom mirror to remind yourself to pray for them every morning when you get ready to face the day.

2.     Be available whenever they have a moment – Their family members are going through a stressful, scary, exhausting series of events. They may be catnapping at odd times, if they are even at home. I watch for when they are out and about, then pop over and say a quick Hi. I’m careful to say, “I don’t want to keep you if you can’t talk right now, but I want you to know I’m here if you need me. Can I do anything for you?” I’ve found they often DO want to talk and will, but if they can’t, that’s ok too. Then I just give a quick hug and leave.

3.     Offer more than once and get more specific on your offers. When I’ve gone through what they are going through (and I’ve done that more than once as well!), I found that people would offer and I would say no because I didn’t want to bother anyone. But when people would keep offering, or say something like, “What can I bring you from the grocery store?” I would be more likely to say “OK.” I think part of it is that we are using up so much emotional energy when we deal with that situation, we just can’t handle more decisions. But when the offerer is there, and giving me the ideas, so I don’t have to think about it, that is easy and that helps me a lot! 

4.     If they are at home, taking over a meal once or twice a week can be a big help. I would talk to them about it in advance to find out about dietary needs and to work around others who might be doing the same thing. Once when I broke my leg badly, we were blessed by offers from both a Bible study group and a school group. We were really grateful for the offers and for the heads up.

5.     For patients who are in bed for a long period of time but able to read, write, etc., I have made care packages to encourage them. One package I made included a crossword puzzle book, a couple of pens and pencils, a rubik’s cube, and a book.

6.     If you make a care package, you might want to include a goodie or two for the patient’s immediate family. They are in crisis too! A book for the wife while she sits by her husband’s hospital bed (or vice versa) can be a tremendous blessing. A greeting card made out to both of them, or better yet, a card for each of them will give them each a wonderful lift for the moment. A game for the children will give them a fun time and some peace and quiet to the parent.

Well, that’s just six of many other ideas. Let’s put our heads together and get creative. What would you suggest in this kind of situation?