As I mentioned earlier this week, all my local grandkids and I are wrapped up in science, including science fair projects, this week. It's been fun, but hectic, and the timing for a couple of things did add a bit of extra "caregiver and grandkid stress." As I was taking some items outside to the trash can, I looked up and, OH MY! It was so beautiful. The lovely starkness of winter with all the leaf-less trees against a backdrop of gorgeous fluffy clouds. I just stared, mesmerized, for a couple of minutes, praising God for that beautiful moment. Then headed back inside, refreshed and invigorated!

O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth, Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!… When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained…O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth! Psalm 8:1,3,9

I love this quote from Cathy Duffy, "Science, in terms of education, means the study of God's creation, its purposes, its functioning, and its beauty." That's what we were doing inside AND what God blessed this Sandwich Generation granny nanny with – outside! If caregiver stress, or just the general issues of life, are getting to you this week, I highly recommend spending a couple of minutes being blessed by the beauty God has surrounded us with – in His world AND in His precious Word! You can find more encouraging Bible verses, along with lovely pictures, at Internet Cafe Devotions and Word-Filled Wednesday. And don't forget…

Kaye

The Sandwich Generation multigenerational caregiving issues of life can certainly be full of stress, can't it? Whether it's dealing with hospitilizations of senior parents and the ensuing recovery period (note the red gizmo on the big hospital gizmo – just in time for Rednesday? );

or perhaps it's helping a grandchild with all the necessary requirements of those ever fun science fair projects;

And then, we won't even think about our own bodies giving us fritzes with sinus infections or tummy bugs (I'm FINALLY over that sinus infection – yay ).

But when things get a bit too much, I really appreciate the lovely trees, and the gorgeous sky. Isn't it amazing how taking a few seconds to just stand and relax and look up at God's wonders, can often help you feel a bit more relaxed and ready to dive back into those Sandwich Generation issues of life?  Even lovely photos can help me relax – another reason I love my easy to use digital camera. And if you feel the same way, be sure to visit Sweet Shot Tuesday for more interesting pictures.  

Kaye

One of yesterday's tips was geared for the exhausted caregiver – going on too little sleep and too much to do. Woman's World Weekly Magazine recommended that, even if you can't nap, just resting for five minutes in a darkened room can make a big difference. A great RX for the multigenerational caregivers in the Sandwich Generation!

But what if you are like me, and your eyes may be closed but your mind keeps racing? Some things I've learned to do to help with that includes:

1. Pick one or two comforting and uplifting Bible verses and read them first. Then let your mind dwell on those words as you rest. The Lord's Prayer is one of my favorites for this,

Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 'Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 'Give us this day our daily bread. 'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.'

along with Psalm 23, as I have both of them memorized. 

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures ; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23

2. Listen to soothing praise and worship hymn songs and music. 

3. Listen to one of the many excellent verse by verse Bible studies I love. I have several favorite pastors I enjoy listening to. A couple of them are great, but have booming voices. A couple others are just as great, but have soothing and relaxing voices and those are wonderful for this. I usually avoid studies in the book of Revelation, though!

What's your favorite way to calm your mind as well as your body when the Sandwich Generation issues of life are keeping you short on sleep and long on duties? We'd love to hear.

P.S.

Kaye

Caregiver stress is a constant refrain in conversations by and about caregivers. One of the highly recommended helps for it is often exercise. Finding time to squeeze in exercise can sometimes be difficult, and even if you can manage it, what do you do?

My favorite exercise is walking and I’m finding it easier to do now that I’ve started making phone calls to family and friends as I walk. But what if you hate walking? There’s always the treadmill or an exercise class or tennis. What’s that? Tennis is too hard on your arthritic knees? How about Pickleball?

Pickleball? You read that right. There is a hot not-so-new game out now called Pickleball. I, for one, had never heard about it until I noticed the article, Valley Seniors Bounce to New Type of Mini-tennis, in the Fresno Bee.

Apparently, it was created by U.S. Representative Joel Pritchard and some of his friends, and named after the Congressman’s family dog, Pickles, in 1965. Now there are thousands of senior citizens along with many in the Baby Boomer Generation who are enjoying this game’s competitive action, which is similar to tennis but much easier on the knees.

According to the article, you play on a smaller court, so “there is less running than in tennis and a premium is put on quick reactions, strategy and ball placement. Volleys sometimes last for minutes.”

Here’s a video of some seniors having fun in a tournament:

It sounds like it might be a bit more complicated than tennis, and it is not cheap. Amazon carries the pickleball paddles through their associates with prices ranging from $20-$35 along with 12 balls for $20, which looks like one of the best prices even with the shipping. I didn’t see them at Walmart or Target online. Amazon also carries the book, The Art of Pickleball for $13.57, but All About Pickleball has an interesting site and there you can get a free guide which includes the rules.

Other sites with information about this fun-looking game include:

• USAPA
• Wikipedia
• Pickleball

I must admit, it really looks like fun. I love to play tennis, but it is getting harder and harder for me to keep up. I am going to have to keep my eyes open and see if I can find anyone in my area who is playing this. How about you? Have you already started? We’d love to hear about it. This definitely looks like a great way for some of us Sandwich Generation caregivers and grandparents to have fun, get healthy exercise, and burn off some of that caregiver stress. I bet our grandkids would have fun playing it with us as well!

SandwichINK has a couple of interesting current events just for you! First, as members of the Baby Boomer Generation of caregivers, we need to stay as healthy as possible. When we get sick, who helps our aging parents and/or grandkids? For the most part, we still do, no matter how miserable we are. In worst case scenarios, we get so sick, we have the added headache of helping our beloveds get help. Neither option is fun.

If you’re like me, you do everything you can to stay healthy, and when you do get sick you work hard to get well. Some of you may have done this by using various Zicam nasal cold remedy products. I know I’ve seen them and considered them, though I haven’t yet tried them. Turns out my procrastination was a good thing! And if you didn’t procrastinate and have some in your cupboard, please check this list as soon as possible. If any of them are on it, you need to know that “the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has advised consumers to stop using three products marketed over-the-counter as cold remedies because they are associated with the loss of sense of smell (anosmia). Anosmia may be long-lasting or permanent!” NOT GOOD!

Per the FDA,  the three products that have received over 130 reports of smell loss include:

• Zicam Cold Remedy Nasal Gel;
• Zicam Cold Remedy Nasal Swabs;
• Zicam Cold Remedy Swabs, kids

That means we also need to let our kids and our grandkids know about this possible problem. WOW! The last medicine I used that had major problems was Entex. I had used it and loved it for years for congestion and sinus infection. Then they discovered it caused people to die! Losing your sense of smell is better than dying, but still. I’m glad I never gave it a try. This is definitely a good reminder to all of us to research the over the counter AND prescription medications we take, as well as those our aging parents have. And even then, there are no guarantees.

Another more personal piece of news is that SandwichINK is once again participating in the EldercareABC Blog Carnival. You can find a link to my article, Flying Practice for Baby Boomer Generation and Senior Citizens, in excellent company. They have some useful and interesting articles including:

• I Won a WalkerWonder – Yup, that’s by Mary, who won SandwichINK’s WalkerWonder contest 
• How to pick the best car for yourself and your aging parents
• Fixed annuities
• Easing caregiver stress
• And more…

I think you’ll find it to be an excellent resource for caregivers. I know I did. 

As families continue to scatter across the US and further, more women and men in the Baby Boomer Generation and older are flying all over, often alone. Not only that, for many of them it’s the first time they’ve flown alone. It may even be the first time they’ve ever flown at all.

I had a few trips under my belt before I started having to travel so much, thanks to my parents. My dad and mom gave me a great gift when I was 30. I had never flown before. Southwest and America West had both just started and were offering fantastic deals. For about $7 per ticket, my dad took my mom, my three kids, and myself from Southern California to the Phoenix Zoo. We flew there and back the same day. Back then, smoking was allowed and I was in misery in the back smoking row, but it was still thrilling. They even had seats that faced backwards, which made me rather queasy. I’m so glad they all face forwards now!

I was able to fly with my whole family a couple of times after that. The first time I had to fly alone (well, not alone, but as the only adult with three kids under 9!), it was a tough day, made harder by several prolonged delays due to mechanical difficulties. I was nervous and on edge, but I did great, because of the past experience. Being in my 30s helped a lot too.

A dear friend of mine needed to go on her very first plane trip ever. As a member of the Baby Boomer Generation, and two years away from being an official Senior Citizen, she was very nervous about the whole process. I could certainly understand. If my first trip had been in my 50s instead of my 30s, with my eyesight not as great and my arthritis slowing me down just a bit, it would have been a much more difficult trip.

She was able to combine plans with another friend who had traveled alone several times. They traveled together, which made it much easier for her first time. Her next couple of trips were by herself but her husband could drop her off, her son could pick her up and she had no layovers. She was scared at first but thrilled at her accomplishment when the trip was completed. Then the big day came when, due to a family crisis, she had to make reservations quickly, fly by herself with two plane changes, and return home in time for a vital appointment. She did GREAT! Can you imagine how that trip might have gone if she hadn’t had the earlier ones? Just like anything in life, practice makes perfect, or at least closer to perfect than when you started.

If you, or a special senior in your life, have never taken a plane trip anywhere, or if you have flown but never by yourself, I would encourage you to watch the sales, and take a plane trip or two somewhere close, just for fun. It would make a nice little getaway, which always helps ease caregiver stress , and it would give you a chance to practice doing something you’ve never done before.

You may wind up with just some great memories and never need to use the experience you’ve gathered. Then again, senior health care or grandkids’ needs may spring an emergency on you out of the blue. As you sit in that plane, praying hard for the beloved you are headed to visit, you will be so grateful for the experience that is helping to make this trip just a little bit easier.

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that,

A North Carolina woman reportedly dumped an elderly relative at a shelter in Bradenton on the way to Walt Disney World. Beverly Edwards is said to have dropped her aunt, Ruth Smith, at a Salvation Army homeless shelter Sunday evening — while indicating that she would not be returning to pick up the 96-year-old. Edwards, who told staff at the shelter that she could no longer care for the elderly woman…

Shocking and sad news that has left many asking, “Why?” At first glance it is so easy for us to pass judgment on this family. “How dare they do this to that sweet old lady?” However, it is important for us to stop and think it through.

For one thing, we need to remember that just because something is in the newspaper it isn’t necessarily totally true or accurate. We can probably all think of one or two important news stories in the past year or so where the facts proved that the reporters embellished or just plain made up all or part of the story.

I saw that in action 20 years ago when the church I was attending bought a quaint old building for their church home. Because of the uniqueness of the building, more newspaper stories were written about our church move than the norm. It was fascinating reading those articles as an “insider.” Names, dates, and activities – you name it, there were plenty of things that needed correcting!

I learned from that to take everything I read with a grain of salt and to find plenty of corroborating information before believing a lot of that. One of my goals for SandwichINK is to verify information as much as possible before sharing it, even when I’m just passing on links And if you ever find something here that needs correcting, do let me know. I appreciate the “extra eyes.”

Another side of this multi-faceted story is the sweet old lady. I am blessed with several senior citizens in my life and they are all wonderful and truly sweet. I have known some elderly people, though, who are anything but sweet. Not only that, dementia or heavy doses of necessary medications can turn a sweet adult into someone no one would want to be around. I saw that happen to a dear friend of mine.  For two weeks I thought I would never have my friend back again. Then the doctor finally found a medication that she could tolerate and it was like night and day. She was once again sweet and caring, and I can’t tell you how happy I was!

For many families dealing with a patient who is in the fog of dementia, they may never see their beloved get better. It only gets worse. Dealing with an elderly parent with dementia year after year is so very difficult, physically and emotionally. My parents cared for an elderly aunt for several years. I have always had the greatest admiration for them and the wonderful attitude they had in dealing with her. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t perfect. They got discouraged, frustrated, and depressed. But they kept on going, and set an example for me that I continue to strive to copy to this day. As a teenager, I’m afraid I wasn’t that much help to them then. I’m grateful I got a second chance with them and am happy to report I’m doing much better, though I’m not perfect either. Not by a long shot! Come to think of it, no one is, except our precious Lord Jesus! 

We don’t know much about this family. We don’t know if they were struggling with their circumstances, if they were feeling alone and depressed, if the aunt was in more need than they could provide, or if they really were as heartless as the newspaper reports make them appear.

What we do know and what I would encourage you to think about today, is that caregivers need to be proactive about taking steps to avoid burnout. For the sake of the patient AND for the sake of the caregiver.

It’s important for each of us to make sure we build a network of people who can help us in our elder care-giving journey. Relatives, friends, and people from our church can all do little things that can help make our burden lighter if we let them. I was so blessed when my dad was on hospice. My daughters and sons-in-law all helped wonderfully. They ran errands, helped with giving medications, and even took turns spending the night when we needed extra assistance.

Not everyone has extended family close by and it is sometimes hard to build and maintain relationships when your caregiving duties are keeping you extremely busy. This is especially true for the Sandwich Generation! Often we are dealing with the care of our elderly parents AND with kids or grandkids AND with work AND with spouses… It can really be overwhelming.

I always encourage people to start with their church home. Many of the larger churches have a full-on senior citizen ministry. Some offer help for repairs around the house as a ministry to the elderly. If money is extra tight due to all the added medical bills, they might even be able to help out with canned goods or a small grant.

Senior citizen nonprofit groups can be found in many cities. They, too, can be a great resource to help families. In this economy, it is getting harder. There may be more forms and longer waits. It can be worth it though. It’s certainly worth checking into.

Meals on Wheels can be a wonderful help to both the elderly parent and the Senior caregiver. They provide a full and healthy meal once a day and the cost is very low. If money is an issue, there may even be an option for a grant. Many aging parents are eating less and find that one meal fills them up twice a day. Not only that, if your aging parent lives alone, it gives you the comfort of knowing someone else is checking on them once a day.

The internet certainly is a big help in providing friends for caregivers who can’t get out very much. There are many excellent sites who specialize in helping caregivers with counseling, resources, and links to other great info. You can find many great resources here at SandwichINK, starting with yesterday’s Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival.

Make sure you are taking good care of yourself physically and emotionally! Walking daily can be a great way to exercise, as well as lower your cholesterol, blood pressure, and stress levels. Prayer and meditation has been proven to be very helpful at keeping stress at bay. God is good and His Word is overflowing with His love, comfort and promises. Chewing on a verse or two daily can really help drive away anger, fear, and depression.

Caregiving is not the easiest job in the world. It can, however, be extremely rewarding. Just be sure that you are getting plenty of help, availing yourself of the resources that are out there, and taking good care of yourself, so that you can keep taking good care of your beloved elderly parents. And when you’re praying and meditating on God’s Word, pray for the family in the newspaper and for caregivers everywhere. We can always use extra prayer! 

Once upon a time I made full dinners every night. Healthy ones, not-so-healthy ones. Yummy ones. Not-so-yummy ones. Nowadays I am trying to eat healthier most of the time and watching my calories to at least maintain my weight, if not finally shake loose that last ten pounds. I feel better when my weight is where it belongs and that helps in dealing with all that’s going on. It’s hard though when juggling aging parents and young grandkids and often in-betweeners. The joys of the Sandwich Generation!

It is possible to eat healthy and eat yummy though it does require some willpower. Sometimes I have that, sometimes not so much.

Here’s one of my favorite recipes – a delicious gourmet salad :

Lettuce – my old favorite, iceberg, has been dumped due to overwhelming evidence that it is pretty useless. Nowadays I love baby greens and baby romaine and they are so much healthier.

Tomatoes – I personally love the cherry tomatoes – they are quick and easy, though I think they spoil a bit faster.

Broccoli – I’ve started buying the bags of cut up broccoli. It’s healthy and saves time.

Cabbage – I love red cabbage but to save time, I often use the bags of coleslaw mix – cabbage and carrots shredded up.

Sunflower seeds – I personally prefer roasted/salted – ok, not so healthy but… Honey roasted tastes really good, and even the plain, unsalted are great. Very healthy too!

Raisins – Yummy.

Feta or Blue Cheese – I really like the Treasure Cave brand.

Avocado – I often add 1/2 – 1 avocado to this. Makes a delicious salad even better!

Salad Dressing – I rarely use this. When I do, I really like Paul Newman’s Olive Oil and Vinegar Salad Dressing. What I really love is the Balsamic Vinaigrette from Panera Bread Bakery-Cafe. I’ve bought different ones at the store but they don’t taste as yummy. Anyone know of a brand I can buy that does taste good? If so, please leave the info in the comments section below or send an email to Kaye@SandwichINK.com

I mix up all these ingredients and eat as much as I want. I’ve learned if I have this for dinner, my scales are very friendly to me in the morning. If I have it for lunch, they aren’t quite as friendly. When my weight is where it should be, I have more energy for caregiving duties thus easing caregiver stress!

Do you have a salad idea that is easy and healthy? We’d love to see it. Just leave a comment or send an email for that as well.