The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that,

A North Carolina woman reportedly dumped an elderly relative at a shelter in Bradenton on the way to Walt Disney World. Beverly Edwards is said to have dropped her aunt, Ruth Smith, at a Salvation Army homeless shelter Sunday evening — while indicating that she would not be returning to pick up the 96-year-old. Edwards, who told staff at the shelter that she could no longer care for the elderly woman…

Shocking and sad news that has left many asking, “Why?” At first glance it is so easy for us to pass judgment on this family. “How dare they do this to that sweet old lady?” However, it is important for us to stop and think it through.

For one thing, we need to remember that just because something is in the newspaper it isn’t necessarily totally true or accurate. We can probably all think of one or two important news stories in the past year or so where the facts proved that the reporters embellished or just plain made up all or part of the story.

I saw that in action 20 years ago when the church I was attending bought a quaint old building for their church home. Because of the uniqueness of the building, more newspaper stories were written about our church move than the norm. It was fascinating reading those articles as an “insider.” Names, dates, and activities – you name it, there were plenty of things that needed correcting!

I learned from that to take everything I read with a grain of salt and to find plenty of corroborating information before believing a lot of that. One of my goals for SandwichINK is to verify information as much as possible before sharing it, even when I’m just passing on links And if you ever find something here that needs correcting, do let me know. I appreciate the “extra eyes.”

Another side of this multi-faceted story is the sweet old lady. I am blessed with several senior citizens in my life and they are all wonderful and truly sweet. I have known some elderly people, though, who are anything but sweet. Not only that, dementia or heavy doses of necessary medications can turn a sweet adult into someone no one would want to be around. I saw that happen to a dear friend of mine.  For two weeks I thought I would never have my friend back again. Then the doctor finally found a medication that she could tolerate and it was like night and day. She was once again sweet and caring, and I can’t tell you how happy I was!

For many families dealing with a patient who is in the fog of dementia, they may never see their beloved get better. It only gets worse. Dealing with an elderly parent with dementia year after year is so very difficult, physically and emotionally. My parents cared for an elderly aunt for several years. I have always had the greatest admiration for them and the wonderful attitude they had in dealing with her. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t perfect. They got discouraged, frustrated, and depressed. But they kept on going, and set an example for me that I continue to strive to copy to this day. As a teenager, I’m afraid I wasn’t that much help to them then. I’m grateful I got a second chance with them and am happy to report I’m doing much better, though I’m not perfect either. Not by a long shot! Come to think of it, no one is, except our precious Lord Jesus! 

We don’t know much about this family. We don’t know if they were struggling with their circumstances, if they were feeling alone and depressed, if the aunt was in more need than they could provide, or if they really were as heartless as the newspaper reports make them appear.

What we do know and what I would encourage you to think about today, is that caregivers need to be proactive about taking steps to avoid burnout. For the sake of the patient AND for the sake of the caregiver.

It’s important for each of us to make sure we build a network of people who can help us in our elder care-giving journey. Relatives, friends, and people from our church can all do little things that can help make our burden lighter if we let them. I was so blessed when my dad was on hospice. My daughters and sons-in-law all helped wonderfully. They ran errands, helped with giving medications, and even took turns spending the night when we needed extra assistance.

Not everyone has extended family close by and it is sometimes hard to build and maintain relationships when your caregiving duties are keeping you extremely busy. This is especially true for the Sandwich Generation! Often we are dealing with the care of our elderly parents AND with kids or grandkids AND with work AND with spouses… It can really be overwhelming.

I always encourage people to start with their church home. Many of the larger churches have a full-on senior citizen ministry. Some offer help for repairs around the house as a ministry to the elderly. If money is extra tight due to all the added medical bills, they might even be able to help out with canned goods or a small grant.

Senior citizen nonprofit groups can be found in many cities. They, too, can be a great resource to help families. In this economy, it is getting harder. There may be more forms and longer waits. It can be worth it though. It’s certainly worth checking into.

Meals on Wheels can be a wonderful help to both the elderly parent and the Senior caregiver. They provide a full and healthy meal once a day and the cost is very low. If money is an issue, there may even be an option for a grant. Many aging parents are eating less and find that one meal fills them up twice a day. Not only that, if your aging parent lives alone, it gives you the comfort of knowing someone else is checking on them once a day.

The internet certainly is a big help in providing friends for caregivers who can’t get out very much. There are many excellent sites who specialize in helping caregivers with counseling, resources, and links to other great info. You can find many great resources here at SandwichINK, starting with yesterday’s Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival.

Make sure you are taking good care of yourself physically and emotionally! Walking daily can be a great way to exercise, as well as lower your cholesterol, blood pressure, and stress levels. Prayer and meditation has been proven to be very helpful at keeping stress at bay. God is good and His Word is overflowing with His love, comfort and promises. Chewing on a verse or two daily can really help drive away anger, fear, and depression.

Caregiving is not the easiest job in the world. It can, however, be extremely rewarding. Just be sure that you are getting plenty of help, availing yourself of the resources that are out there, and taking good care of yourself, so that you can keep taking good care of your beloved elderly parents. And when you’re praying and meditating on God’s Word, pray for the family in the newspaper and for caregivers everywhere. We can always use extra prayer! 

Boomers & Seniors: Alzheimer’s Awareness, Aging Parents In Crisis, Keeping Healthy in Body & Mind, and More!

Welcome to the Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival at SandwichINK! This week’s edition has plenty of great info to inform, encourage, and entertain you.  You’ll find interesting articles covering such topics as restoring hope for caregivers, staying younger longer, Cheat Sheets for healthy living, financial advice, and so much more!

Starting off with yours truly, SandwichINK , we present articles covering two primary aspects of the Sandwich Generation.

How to Perk Up Your Aging Parent’s Day by Spiffing Up Their Walker is a review of the WalkerWonder, a stylish, practical product for your aging parent’s walker or rollator, giving it a sense of personality. We even have one to give away! Just head on over to get the full details.

For fellow grandparents, SandwichINK presents See How Easily You Can Make Your Grandkids Smile Even When They’re Sick , with fun tales and details about Paper Airplane designs and games. Your grandkids and you will have a blast! If they are part of a home schooling program, these make great summer projects.

Caregiving / Elderly Care

Alzheimer’s Disease Takes the National Stage , at Seniors For Living , gives a behind-the-scenes look at the Senate Special Committee on Aging hearing. “During this hearing hundreds of Alzheimer advocates met with their individual members of Congress, seeking their support on three priority policy issues. It was truly a banner week in terms of awareness, media coverage, and attention from legislators and the public, including Maria Shriver, on all things Alzheimer’s…”

Dale Carter of Transition Aging Parents presents My Top 5 List – Things I Wish I Had Known . “The key things I wish I had known about before my mother went into crisis a year ago.  Learn from my experience!  Do not wait until your aging parent goes into crisis."

Traits of a Hope-full Family Caregiver by Denise Brown of Caregiving explores seven traits for caregivers, along with great suggestions on how to build them into their lives, that can help bring hope back into their hearts.

Baby Boomer Generation & Senior Health And Wellness

Ready for some good news? Read about a new study that has found a simple way to stay and feel young at heart — just get involved with helping young people. Seniors Tutor Kids Through the Experience Corps , at Seniors For Living , is a fascinating article detailing how helping others can also help you!

Catherine Eagleson has a fun article appropriately titled, Have Fun and Keep Your Brain Active With Crosswords for Fun Codewords! posted at  Crosswords For Fun , saying, "Codewords are really great for giving your brain a workout, and provide you with a real sense of achievement when you solve the puzzle."

Verna Morris presents 25 Bookmark-worthy Cheat Sheets for Healthy Living posted at Assistant Guides . I am definitely going to be bookmarking many of them! They include resources on the subjects of nutrition, news, medicines, and sports and exercise. My favorite was “Unhealthy Chinese Food Choices.” My favorite foods passed! 

Vital information for all ages, Kirsten Fallon presents, Interview with Dr. Peter McCullough on the PLAC Test, posted at Blisstree. "Great Questions and Answers on detecting hidden risk for heart attack and ischemic stroke."

Colin Timberlake presents Training Log: The 2009 Arnold Classic 5K Pump and Run- Day 21 posted at colintimberlake . "Colin Timberlake uses amazing senior citizen marathoner Ed Whitlock (now 78 years young) as inspiration for a day of heavy training." Wow! Next time I don’t want to exercise, I’m going to think of Mr. Whitlock!

Heartstrong presents  A Fresh Look at Organic Produce , posted at Healthy Hearts with Heartstrong . “Which is better for you-an organic tomato or one that’s grown through conventional methods? The answer might not be as obvious as it seems.”

Financial Info for the Baby Boomer Generation & the Senior Caregiver

"Financial well being is just as important as physical well being,” writes Patricia Grace at Aging with Grace CareConnection . Read her interesting article, Does the Buck Stop Here? “If your parent’s money is disappearing, you need to intervene.”

Jeff Rose presents an informative article at GoodFinancialCents explaining why The Economic Stimulus Tax Cut is Misleading for Retirees . “If your retirement check got bigger in April, don’t start celebrating because you did not qualify for the tax credit….The net result is that although you are taking home more money each month, you will pay it back when you file your 2009 taxes…So what should you do?”

ConsumerBoomer has some fascinating facts in Where are Baby Boomers Cutting Their Spending? , presented by Jeff Rose. Have you been wondering if you are the only one cutting back on movies or eating out? Nope! Not only that, they’ve got nine items Boomers have been cutting back on! You might find new ways to save.

Did you take an early retirement in the last couple of years, or are you considering it? Be sure to check out what Super Saver Writes about Surviving Early Retirement During the Financial Crisis .

"Boomers that have multiple retirement accounts should consider consolidating,” writes Jeff Rose, in IRA Consolidation: The “Super IRA” Strategy presented at GoodFinancialCents.

Tips for the Baby Boomer Generation

Should You Buy or Rent a Home for Retirement ? An excellent question posed by Mr. ToughMoneyLove at Go To Retirement. “Many boomers considering retirement housing assume that owning is better than renting. That is no longer the case…”

“These are unprecedented times…for Sandwiched Boomers, many of whom are financially responsible for their growing children and aging parents, they’re scared as they watch their dreams of a comfortable retirement disappear.” Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. of Nourishing Relationships address those fears in  Five Ways Sandwiched Boomers Can Think Positive in Tough Times .

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use by using our carnival submission form . Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page . The next edition is due out on June 9th, with article submissions due by June 4th! We’d love to see YOUR article in the next Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use!

Woo Hoo! It’s that time again. A brand new edition of the Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival with a wealth of information for you. Let’s take a peek, shall we?

Under the topic of Boomer Issues, you’ll find articles:

• with ideas to help grandparents stay in touch with grandkids, even from a long distance
• with a different spin on the controversial survey comparing daycare vs. Grandparent care
• on Grandparents raising their grandkids.

Moving on to Senior Care/Caregiving :

• there’s an interesting article, How to Stay Centered After Lilah’s Stroke , to help you understand your feelings better
• also a good article on Dementia Up Close
  
• and yours truly’s SandwichINK article on Caregiving.com’s Progressive Party as well as the two-part Power of Attorney series.

Senior Housing covers such topics as:

• retirement communities that are going high-tech (it sounds wonderful!)
• things to look for when you select an assisted living community – sounds like two excellent articles to save!
• Downsizing – to a condo or to a prefab home

Of course, they also cover Retirement and financial issues :

• Making sure you’re getting all you’re entitled to from Social Security & what forms you should save FOREVER!
• Tapping your 401k with no penalty
• More excellent advice on the Power of Attorney
• Safety for liquid savings
• Tips on what your savings plan should focus on.

Feeling healthy ? I hope so, but either way, be sure to read:

• 100 Best Wellness Blogs for Women!
• What the signs of a stroke are
• Fighting your metabolism. They have some easy ways to help you in that battle
• Regular walking breaks can help fight depression
• Healthy living tips for Seniors
• A good reminder of the importance of forgiveness – for you as well as the one you forgive

And last, but hilariously not least, be sure to check out the Hot Flash Barbie – it’s a hoot!

Well, there you have it. The latest edition of news you can use from the Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival . Check it out, leave them notes to let them know what you liked, and I’d love to hear from you as well. Comments are always wonderfully welcomed in the space below.

CAREGIVING’S PROGRESSIVE PARTY PARTICIPANTS: Welcome to SandwichINK . This site is written with the Sandwich Generation in mind. My goal is the encourage you and inform you as you go about your daily tasks. If you are a caregiver for an elderly parent, still taking care of a child and/or helping take care of grandkids, you will find articles of interest for all those needs.  SandwichINK has articles about caregiving in general, the wide variety of needs of the elderly , Alzheimer’s Disease , Parkinson’s Disease , products to help you deal with all these needs, and more. You will also find articles with suggestions for fun projects to do with grandkids (and kids), games to play with them, ways to encourage them and help them learn , creative things to do at the different holidays , long distance ideas , etc. As a regular participant in the Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival , a daily Twitter user, and a continual internet researcher, I’m constantly on the lookout for useful , frugal , and interesting information for you. I’d love to have you join us on a regular basis by bookmarking this site and signing up for the free email or RSS feed option on the right.

If you are not part of the progressive party but would like to join in, pop over to Caregiving to find out all the details. It’s open to all and wonderfully FREE

Now, to quote Paul Harvey, “it’s time for the rest of the story:”

CAREGIVING VS. HOSPITALITY

Are you a caregiver for someone in your home? A spouse, elderly parent, child or grandchild? Do you want to be able to invite friends over to your house for a meeting, maybe for a Bible study group, a Neighborhood Watch meeting, or a book club? Do you feel frustrated because you or your patient don’t feel that is a viable option? Perhaps it makes your beloved uncomfortable or there just isn’t enough room for it. You’ll be glad to know there are other options available to you that you might not have thought of.

1. Restaurants – This is one of my favorites. Depending on the size of the group, you can either sit in the regular section at a booth or table or you could find one of the many restaurants with a private room available for groups to use. I’ve seen these in everything from fast food, such as McDonalds and Chick-Fil-A, to sit-down restaurants, such as Denny’s and Marie Callendar’s. Of course, you’ll probably need to make arrangements in advance. Just be sure if it is a restaurant where you would normally tip, that you tip an appropriate amount for the size of the group AND the time you spend there. If you take up a server’s table for more than 45 minutes, you should tip the full amount for every 45 –60 minutes you are there. Let them know that you will be tipping extra. They should be happy to know they are getting their normal tips, keep the water and coffee flowing, and welcome you back with open arms. Your group gets a pleasant place to visit with no clean-up afterwards. That’s always a win-win situation that makes me smile.

2. Apartment Community Room – Do you, or one of the other members, live in an apartment? If so, check to see if there is a community room available that you are allowed to reserve in advance. Most apartments make these available for free or for a small charge to cover extra cleaning. Check the room out in advance to be sure it will work well for your purposes. I visited one complex that was delightful, but it was set up for theater watching. This is fine if your meeting is more of a class setting, such as a guest speaker for Neighborhood Watch. If you are planning a time where everyone is sharing and getting to know each other, a less formal set up where everyone is in a circle would work better.

3. Business Community Centers – Check with your local businesses to see if any of them have a meeting room that they make available for free to community groups. When I was a neighborhood watch captain, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my local grocery store had one available for reservation to all local groups.

4. Churches – Many churches allow members to reserve a room for use for a community meeting as long as it is not already being used at that time. We held Neighborhood Watch meetings at one of our members’ local church and appreciated that the pastor often joined us for the meetings since his church was in the area. Obviously, your own church would be the best place to start. If they don’t have a viable option, check other churches near where you live.

5. Schools – Many schools have rooms available for community groups to use on a first-come, first-served, reservation basis. Some charge a small fee for the use while others make them available for free. Call the secretary at a local school to ask what the policies and availabilities are.

6. Libraries – Being a confirmed bookaholic, I always get to know my libraries well. One of the things I discovered is that many of them also have community rooms available. Call your local librarian to find out their rules and requirements.

7. Trade Services for Space – If your group prefers a home environment, see if one or more of the members would be willing to have it in their home, if you will agree to lead it. The pastor in charge of our home Bible study groups was wise enough to realize many people love to share their homes, but hate to be in charge. Others love to be in charge, but don’t have a home available. He set up his Bible study sign-ups to always have a person who volunteered to host and another who volunteered to lead. If your church or group doesn’t have that as an option, you can set up a group on your own with that as the plan.  You could even split the duties three ways. One person could host the event at their house, another would commit to bringing the cookies and coffee, and a third person could agree to lead. That makes it a lot easier for everyone. If you aren’t the only caregiver in your group, others will also be very grateful.

8. Virtual Meetings – Sometimes, no matter how much you need to get out and about, it just isn’t an option. I went through a season like that during the last two months my sweet father was on hospice. There was too much going on, and too many crises, to allow me to get out at all, let alone hostess any get-togethers. For those times, the caregiving community online becomes even more valuable and vital. Just a few minutes of the the normal visiting of sites, chatting on Facebook or tweeting on Twitter can be a big encouragement to an overwhelmed and exhausted caregiver. If there is a blog carnival or “progressive party ” going on, such as the one going on right now, that can also be a blessing. These are the moments when, instead of being the one giving the hospitality, you get to be blessed by others’ virtual hospitality. One excellent site to help with that, (in addition to SandwichINK ), is Caregiving . And as you read above, they are hosting a Progressive Party to introduce you to other great sites and give you some extra encouragement along the way. Bookmarking some of those sites that especially interest you and revisiting them in normal times will provide you with interesting and informative updates. Spending a few minutes at one or more in the midst of a crisis can give you that much-needed break you need, even if you can’t get away to take that break.

Caregiving is hard work , no matter how much you love the person you are caring for. It’s important to make sure you do have some time to yourself for something you are interested in. Hopefully, these eight ideas will give you a great launching pad to a fun outing on a regular basis. If you have other creative ideas, please share them with us in the comments section below.

Wait till you see the current edition of this useful and interesting collage of blog posts. Ageless-Sages is hosting it and they used the greatest pictures. Vintage photos! As you can probably guess from past posts here at SandwichINK, I LOVE vintage pictures. That alone is enough to make me run over.

But that’s not all. Once you get there you’ll discover a wealth of information wonderfully suited to all of us in the Sandwich Generation. There are several articles under the heading of Health & Wellness, including why it’s important to check your mouth regularly (believe me, after reading those facts and statistics, I did that ASAP) and information to help with the decision of whether a loved one has Alzheimer’s Disease or just normal aging.

Moving on to financial issues, I discovered several items of interest including Five Ways to Survive a Layoff. I’ll have to share that with some of my friends at home!

Under Senior Care/Caregiving, you’ll find tips for visiting elders, a good discussion on elder abuse, and an article from yours truly from a few weeks ago – can you spot it quickly?

Finishing up with the section on Boomer Trends, you’ll enjoy several items of interest. One in particular caught my eye tonight that I think impacts all of us – Understanding Elderspeak.  Hmmmmm. I think I’ll head over to read that right now and find out what they mean. How about you? Join me at Ageless-Sages . But first, HARK, what do I hear? Could it be trumpets making the sound of an announcement coming? I do believe it is because:

The Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival is coming to SandwichINK on April 7, 2009! WOW! This will be my first time hosting it here. I’m really looking forward to it. So tell your friends and make sure you come visiting here on April 7 (not to mention every other day of the year ). If you’d like to submit an article for it, just click on Blog Carnival . It should take you to exactly where you need to be to sign up for  it.

Well now, let’s head over to Ageless-Sages , shall we?

It’s that time again. The Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival has a new crop of great articles and you can find their links at Seniors Support – http://seniors-support.com/2009/02/10/boomers-and-seniors-blog-carnival-feb-10-edition/ . You’ll find a wide variety of articles to help you as you navigate all the different aspects of the Sandwich Generation life.

Once there, you can read about tax tips and RMD rules for investors. For those interested in frugal finances, check out how to use a garden to fight the recession as well as information about retiring cheaply.

Speaking of retiring, there is an interesting article about moving near the water, along with another on how to choose an assisted living facility.

Healthwise, you can read about antioxidants and herniated discs as well as how to deal with the issue of falls by elderly relatives. Complementing that information was my article on Medical Alert Systems.

Grandparents, I think you’ll enjoy reading about Hangman, one of my favorite games to play with my grandkids.

In addition, you’ll find interesting articles covering dementia, our adult children caring for us someday, and other topics of interest. So do go over to http://seniors-support.com/2009/02/10/boomers-and-seniors-blog-carnival-feb-10-edition/ for some interesting and educational reading time.

Ahhh, the joys of blogging. When I first posted this article, I had a problem with it due to what is, apparently, a broken piece of software I was using. Up until then, the software had worked fine, but not anymore. In trying to fix the problem, I inadvertently made a worse problem. Now, when anyone clicks on the link to the original article about the second Boomers & Seniors Blog Carnival, they are sent immediately to my 404 error page! If I just copy this article and paste it in twice, Google will not be happy. I’m sure that if I spent several hours, I might be able to resolve the problem, but that’s not an option for at least two weeks or more Soooo, I am trying this.  I’ve moved the article to a new title – http://www.sandwichink.com/boomers-seniors-blog-carnival-take-2 . It’s the post right above this post Hopefully it will kind of, sort of, fix it?

The nice thing about all this is that I’ve learned something new and that’s always fun for me. In fact, as much as I love to read and do learn so much from reading, I also learn so much from making mistakes. It’s an important part of growing. I will, therefore, use this moment to encourage you to take chances, make mistakes, and have fun doing it! (Hmmm, I do believe some of my grandkids’ Magic Schoolbus show influenced a little of that! A very enjoyable way to learn science with your grandchildren, I might add.) With that being said, I shall bid you adieu, with the hopes that your day is blessed, your mistakes are all educational, and that this fix fixes it!

Ahh yes, and don’t forget to take a peek at the article about the Boomers & Seniors blog carnival, and then pop on over and see all the interesting articles over there! http://www.sandwichink.com/boomers-seniors-blog-carnival-take-2